Riding the Wave

I’ve been having these very vivid dreams lately, which is weird considering I haven’t been sleeping very well these days, unless I pop some Advil PM or Benadryl.  But seeing as how Benadryl turned up in a certain autopsy kind of gives me pause.  Then again I’m not chasing it with coke, so I’m thinking I’ll be okay. (Too soon?  Sorry.) 

With friends like these.....

So back to me…this week my routine has been to wake up around 3ish and then on goes the TV to try to drown out all the noise in my head.  Season 2 of Lipstick Jungle is now streaming on Netflix so that’s been my go to.  This also means that if I have the good fortune to drift back off to sleep, my dreams are dotted with Lindsay Price, cool fashion and Kirby Atwood.  So that’s not so bad.  And it beats the chase dreams or the ones where I seem to constantly be waiting for a train or riding on a train.  That’s a recurring one.  But the proof is in the pudding that things are off with me…even in my dreams.  Kirby is in the show for eye candy…presumably in my dreams for eye candy…yet in my dreams he’s just my friend and not the romantic lead.  Seriously?  I did have the good fortune of seeing him live and in color from about a foot away at Fashion Week a few years back.  Just as handsome in real life.  And of course thinner and shorter than he looks on TV.  Alas, I will crush away and hope my dreams with him turn around.

But moving on…I also managed to have a totally disturbing dream, which is much more indicative of my life these days.  So of course I hit the dream dictionary to figure it all out.  The context of the dream is not all that important – I was at some random party on the beach and there were people from high school mixed with TV characters mixed with people I don’t even know.  I was wandering around on the beach looking for someone and I started heading into the ocean. And then the big waves started coming so I was running in the other direction to escape and they were like these big, dark, muddy waves and they were starting to take me down.

What’s it all mean?

        Waves:

To dream that you are caught in a tidal wave represents an overwhelming emotional issue that demands your attention. (I have to chime in…that interpretation pretty much blows.)  You may have been keeping your feelings and negative emotions bottled up inside for too long. You may be holding back tears that you are afraid to express in your waking life. (Oh, Christ!  It gets worse.) On a positive note, the tidal wave symbolizes the clearing away of old habits.  (And then the glass is half full!)  If you are carried away by the tidal wave, then it means that you are ready to make a brand new start in a new place.

To see muddy, violent waves in your dream indicate a fatal error in an important decision.  (And the glass isn’t just half empty…there’s not a drop left in it.  WTF?)

Ocean: 

To see an ocean in your dream represents the state of your emotions and feelings. It is indicative of spiritual refreshment, tranquility and renewal. Alternatively, the dream means that you are feeling empowered and unhindered. You have a positive outlook in life and are not limited by anything. If the ocean is rough, then the dream represents some emotional turmoil. You are doing your best to handle life's ups and downs.

Emotional turmoil! TURMOIL?  Awesome.  As if Mercury in retrograde isn’t bad enough.  And bee-tee-dubs, I’m blaming good old Mercury for everything craptastic right about now.  And what better way to say it than with a song? 

So according to my dreams, my reality...kind of biting.  At least in my dream I escaped the waves.  Last summer…not so much.

Now in all fairness I have to go back even further to give this some context. Somewhere around the age of five or six we were on a family vacay in Montauk and I pretty much almost got sucked up by wave and into the ocean.  Typical me, clueless to what’s going on around me, I was playing in the sand with my sister. Cue the giant wave, which went over our heads and started to drag us down the beach.  Water and sand everywhere.  Dad grabbing our arms so we didn’t go all the way in.  No doubt this childhood trauma is why I’m not a fan of swimming in the ocean.  Give this girl a pool!

Fast forward to last summer and a fabulous vacation in Portugal.  It was BEYOND hot forcing even me to get in the water, which not for nothing so was damn cold.  Not Jones Beach/Cape Cod cold, but cold considering it was 90something degrees.   Now no matter the temp, I don’t go underwater in the ocean (see above) so had my sunglasses on, and chilled out in the water for a bit…no pun intended.  

The deceptive calm before the crazy.

And then the waves started to come in.  Considering I can barely chew gum and walk without tripping, having to jump when the waves come so I could ride them rather than let them have their way with me was a bit more than I could handle. I know when I’m out of my league, so I decide to head in. 

Now my friends, who I’ll call Frank and Jose Kitty (because those are actually their names) who are very brave ladies, who willing go under water and do things like jump off the rock pier, got quite the kick out of what happened next.  I did my best to walk through the sand, against the water, while keeping an eye on the waves coming up behind me.  You know what’s coming.  I didn’t.

Wave + Me = Knocked-Me-Off-My-Feet-In-a-Truly-Graceless-and-Shameful-Fashion

I got a mouthful of salt water.   A good chunk of sand in my suit.  And I decent dose of embarassment.  Damn you ocean!!!!

When I finally got to my feet Frank and Jose K. were laughing their asses off.  I’m sure it looked hysterical from their vantage point.  I fought the ocean and I lost.  And the cherry on top is I flashed not one, but two boobs to everyone on the beach when I finally found my footing and got out of the water.  It being Europe no one cared.  In fact, I think the fact that my bathing suit bottoms were not a thong is what garnered the strange looks.   Going topless, whether intentional or not, was literally just another day at the beach.  But the silver lining – even though I went completely underwater…didn’t lose the sunglasses.  Total Win!

And then karma worked it’s magic. 

When Frank and Jose K. tried to make their way to shore, I saw the wave coming up behind them, almost in slow motion.  Like I was watching a movie.  And holy crap if that thing did knock them down and drag them sideways.  And just when they thought it was safe to get up – BAM! – another wave came and made sure they went down again.  Talk about getting the last laugh.

Now before you go thinking I’m as big of a bitch as karma is - (well, okay, yes, I can be…but not always) – my friends were totally fine.  And they were pretty much laughing as hard as I was.  Up until that point, probably the funniest thing that happened on that trip and my only regret is I didn’t have my camera to film it.  It’s actually making me laugh right now and I’m guessing when they read this they’ll crack up over it too.  That’s a sign of some great ladies! 

For the record…just reinforces my fear of the ocean.  And while it has nothing to do with why I’m dreaming about the waves of hell, I’m a fan of tying everything together.  So, voila!

And since I’ve wasted so much time watching Lipstick Jungle I have two episodes of Mad Men to see before tomorrow night’s premier.  And about ten other things to do because that’s the way life is.  But for now, I’m going to crack in the new Kate White (FINALLY!).  Happily re-inspired to be writing (Great Mystery here I come!) so hopefully the mental waves won’t keep knocking me down.  And if they do…wait for it…I’ll just pick myself up, knock off the sand, put my boobs back in my shirt and keep moving forward.

And just when I couldn’t get any more cheesy:

 "Somebody told me that this is the place, where everything's better and everything's safe."