Once again I find myself in an Andy Cohen worship mode. So in honor of Andy, this is what I’m obsessed with this week:
The Real Housewives of New York:
Okay, I’ve watched the reunion (both dreadful parts) and Andy nailed it on the head. The women *were* acting like beasts. I was horrified. It was probably one of the worst reunions I’ve ever seen. These women seem to just loathe each other. What a bitter, conniving bunch of not-so-pretty little liars. (Heart you ABC Family. Your show is far more entertaining and earns my good-vibe obsession.)
Now I know women are tough. We can be mean and competitive and catty and hurtful and lots of other bad things. I’ve had failed friendships. I was in a sorority. I get it. But holy crap with the nonsense these women pull. And not for nothing, but they have you on video. Just own what you said and what you did. Don’t try to be all “I wasn’t trying to be mean.” Yeah you were! Stop trying to deny it. It’s not fun getting caught in a lie. Probably worse when they can cue the video. So if you’re going to be on reality TV just own the shitshow that is your show.
And I’m sorry Ms. Zarin, but you still come off looking like an asshole. You were an asshole last season with all your Bethenney crap. You looked like an asshole when you showed up on Watch What Happens Live after your liquid face lift, awful extensions and attempt to recapture Madonna circa the Blonde Ambition tour. And you don’t “own it”. You make excuses. I loved you in the first two seasons but have to agree with the blondes - you haven’t much changed. You were far more fun in your cheesy outfits, walking out of Fashion Week in a snit because you weren’t in the front row.
This scarf:
Now it never fails that I will fall in love with something at J. Crew and impulse purchase it and then within a few weeks it will go on sale. Always outside my chance to get a price adjustment. ALWAYS. So when I saw this scarf in the store I added it to my sale-stalking list. And I stalked and stalked. For like two months. And nada. No accessories promotion. No 20% off your total order. Zilch. Bupkus.
So I caved and I bought it anyway.
But the joke’s on you J. Crew because I bought it with my Fall Rewards card so technically it’s like the scarf was free! Though I realize the only reason I “earned” the rewards card is because I spent so much goddamn money last quarter and you send this card as a clever device to get me to buy more. Oh, J. Crew you clever minx!
But I love it and I wanted it and it will gets lots of play time in my rotation. And at the end of the day it’s like Lenny Kravtiz’s mama said, “love’s all that matters.” Well said, Roxie!
(An epilogue to this lust-fest….I got an email from J. Crew today that I get 20% off my next order plus free shipping. DAMN YOU J. CREW. But yeah, I’ll still buy crap I may not need before the offer expires. You. Get. Me. Every. Time.)
I saw them in the Nordstrom Anniversary catalogue and was in love. Beautiful boots that I suddenly must have. The fact that they were like 40% off at the time was just a bonus. Kind of like a movie with Bradley Cooper. (The must have.) And then he takes his shirt off. (Bonus!)
Alas, I hopped on the website when the sale went live and zilch. They didn’t even exist when I searched for “Tory”. Like the obsessive-compulsive girl I am, I entered the style number from the catalogue and shazam! there they were. With three sad words on top.
“No Longer Available.”
WTF? Already? A little more investigating and I find out there was a pre-sale for Nordstrom cardholders. That’s crap. (I’m having a falling out with Bloomies where I do have a store card, so refuse to align myself with yet another department store at this stage of the game.)
But whatever. Sale. Schmale. I’ve paid full price before. (The JC scarf just proved that point.) So I waited for the sale to be over and back to Nordstom.com I go. And once again…zilch. The goddamn boots are gone, baby, gone. And they don’t think they are getting anymore in stock. WHAT? And they’re a Nordstrom exclusive. In the words of any character on Grey’s (when the show was still good) – “SERIOUSLY?”
And I’ll admit it. Now that I know I can’t have them, I just want them more. Grrrrrrrrr.
Packing for Portugal:
I am a planner. I like to know the who, what, when, where, why (and sometimes how). Blame it on journalism school. But I don’t like to be caught unprepared. I am the girl who carries everything from band-aids to safety pins to Advil to bobby pins to gum. I also carry some version of make-up, pen, paper, tissues, lip balm and allergy pills. Mock me if you will, but someday you’ll thank me.
So it should go without saying (too late!) when I’m prepping for a vacation (international on top of that), I would make a list, check it twice (minimum) and probably a week out, let the packing begin. There would be pre-shopping and special purchases and more lists. Editing the wardrobe. Making new additions. Buying a purse. Trying on a lot of clothes. Figuring out accessories. Buying snacks for the plane.
But something totally un-me happened this year in that I didn’t do any planning. I bought some 50 SFP suntan lotion right after we booked the trip. (I’m pale and not stupid. Or at least not stupid anymore. Falling asleep on a roof deck and burning your eyelids tends to teach a girl a lesson!) But after that purchase I suddenly stopped being the high-maintenance, fairly obsessive, W.W.W.W.W. and sometime H. neurotic version of myself.
So for now all I can hope is that I’m packing right:
(Should I be at all concerned that I have more space for shoes, accessories and products that I do for clothes?)
I know I can always buy whatever I need, but I like to be prepared. And to have options. Variety is the spice of life, right? Well, as one of my travel companions pointed out today, reruns are totally fine. No judgment. (Thank God for friends like her!)
So I’m throwing caution to the wind and just trying to go with the flow. It’s been a phase of “so not my life” moments these days. Maybe I could blame Mercury and it’s damn retrograde but right now I just hope I didn’t forget to pack anything critical!
Like I Love You:
Thanks to a JT video marathon on Fuse, this tune made my Portugal shuffle mix. What can I say? This is one of his best.
So that’s it for now. Am sure I’ll come back with a story of two. Will just be a matter of deciding if what happens in Portugal stays in Portugal….
