Riding the Wave

I’ve been having these very vivid dreams lately, which is weird considering I haven’t been sleeping very well these days, unless I pop some Advil PM or Benadryl.  But seeing as how Benadryl turned up in a certain autopsy kind of gives me pause.  Then again I’m not chasing it with coke, so I’m thinking I’ll be okay. (Too soon?  Sorry.) 

With friends like these.....

So back to me…this week my routine has been to wake up around 3ish and then on goes the TV to try to drown out all the noise in my head.  Season 2 of Lipstick Jungle is now streaming on Netflix so that’s been my go to.  This also means that if I have the good fortune to drift back off to sleep, my dreams are dotted with Lindsay Price, cool fashion and Kirby Atwood.  So that’s not so bad.  And it beats the chase dreams or the ones where I seem to constantly be waiting for a train or riding on a train.  That’s a recurring one.  But the proof is in the pudding that things are off with me…even in my dreams.  Kirby is in the show for eye candy…presumably in my dreams for eye candy…yet in my dreams he’s just my friend and not the romantic lead.  Seriously?  I did have the good fortune of seeing him live and in color from about a foot away at Fashion Week a few years back.  Just as handsome in real life.  And of course thinner and shorter than he looks on TV.  Alas, I will crush away and hope my dreams with him turn around.

But moving on…I also managed to have a totally disturbing dream, which is much more indicative of my life these days.  So of course I hit the dream dictionary to figure it all out.  The context of the dream is not all that important – I was at some random party on the beach and there were people from high school mixed with TV characters mixed with people I don’t even know.  I was wandering around on the beach looking for someone and I started heading into the ocean. And then the big waves started coming so I was running in the other direction to escape and they were like these big, dark, muddy waves and they were starting to take me down.

What’s it all mean?

        Waves:

To dream that you are caught in a tidal wave represents an overwhelming emotional issue that demands your attention. (I have to chime in…that interpretation pretty much blows.)  You may have been keeping your feelings and negative emotions bottled up inside for too long. You may be holding back tears that you are afraid to express in your waking life. (Oh, Christ!  It gets worse.) On a positive note, the tidal wave symbolizes the clearing away of old habits.  (And then the glass is half full!)  If you are carried away by the tidal wave, then it means that you are ready to make a brand new start in a new place.

To see muddy, violent waves in your dream indicate a fatal error in an important decision.  (And the glass isn’t just half empty…there’s not a drop left in it.  WTF?)

Ocean: 

To see an ocean in your dream represents the state of your emotions and feelings. It is indicative of spiritual refreshment, tranquility and renewal. Alternatively, the dream means that you are feeling empowered and unhindered. You have a positive outlook in life and are not limited by anything. If the ocean is rough, then the dream represents some emotional turmoil. You are doing your best to handle life's ups and downs.

Emotional turmoil! TURMOIL?  Awesome.  As if Mercury in retrograde isn’t bad enough.  And bee-tee-dubs, I’m blaming good old Mercury for everything craptastic right about now.  And what better way to say it than with a song? 

So according to my dreams, my reality...kind of biting.  At least in my dream I escaped the waves.  Last summer…not so much.

Now in all fairness I have to go back even further to give this some context. Somewhere around the age of five or six we were on a family vacay in Montauk and I pretty much almost got sucked up by wave and into the ocean.  Typical me, clueless to what’s going on around me, I was playing in the sand with my sister. Cue the giant wave, which went over our heads and started to drag us down the beach.  Water and sand everywhere.  Dad grabbing our arms so we didn’t go all the way in.  No doubt this childhood trauma is why I’m not a fan of swimming in the ocean.  Give this girl a pool!

Fast forward to last summer and a fabulous vacation in Portugal.  It was BEYOND hot forcing even me to get in the water, which not for nothing so was damn cold.  Not Jones Beach/Cape Cod cold, but cold considering it was 90something degrees.   Now no matter the temp, I don’t go underwater in the ocean (see above) so had my sunglasses on, and chilled out in the water for a bit…no pun intended.  

The deceptive calm before the crazy.

And then the waves started to come in.  Considering I can barely chew gum and walk without tripping, having to jump when the waves come so I could ride them rather than let them have their way with me was a bit more than I could handle. I know when I’m out of my league, so I decide to head in. 

Now my friends, who I’ll call Frank and Jose Kitty (because those are actually their names) who are very brave ladies, who willing go under water and do things like jump off the rock pier, got quite the kick out of what happened next.  I did my best to walk through the sand, against the water, while keeping an eye on the waves coming up behind me.  You know what’s coming.  I didn’t.

Wave + Me = Knocked-Me-Off-My-Feet-In-a-Truly-Graceless-and-Shameful-Fashion

I got a mouthful of salt water.   A good chunk of sand in my suit.  And I decent dose of embarassment.  Damn you ocean!!!!

When I finally got to my feet Frank and Jose K. were laughing their asses off.  I’m sure it looked hysterical from their vantage point.  I fought the ocean and I lost.  And the cherry on top is I flashed not one, but two boobs to everyone on the beach when I finally found my footing and got out of the water.  It being Europe no one cared.  In fact, I think the fact that my bathing suit bottoms were not a thong is what garnered the strange looks.   Going topless, whether intentional or not, was literally just another day at the beach.  But the silver lining – even though I went completely underwater…didn’t lose the sunglasses.  Total Win!

And then karma worked it’s magic. 

When Frank and Jose K. tried to make their way to shore, I saw the wave coming up behind them, almost in slow motion.  Like I was watching a movie.  And holy crap if that thing did knock them down and drag them sideways.  And just when they thought it was safe to get up – BAM! – another wave came and made sure they went down again.  Talk about getting the last laugh.

Now before you go thinking I’m as big of a bitch as karma is - (well, okay, yes, I can be…but not always) – my friends were totally fine.  And they were pretty much laughing as hard as I was.  Up until that point, probably the funniest thing that happened on that trip and my only regret is I didn’t have my camera to film it.  It’s actually making me laugh right now and I’m guessing when they read this they’ll crack up over it too.  That’s a sign of some great ladies! 

For the record…just reinforces my fear of the ocean.  And while it has nothing to do with why I’m dreaming about the waves of hell, I’m a fan of tying everything together.  So, voila!

And since I’ve wasted so much time watching Lipstick Jungle I have two episodes of Mad Men to see before tomorrow night’s premier.  And about ten other things to do because that’s the way life is.  But for now, I’m going to crack in the new Kate White (FINALLY!).  Happily re-inspired to be writing (Great Mystery here I come!) so hopefully the mental waves won’t keep knocking me down.  And if they do…wait for it…I’ll just pick myself up, knock off the sand, put my boobs back in my shirt and keep moving forward.

And just when I couldn’t get any more cheesy:

 "Somebody told me that this is the place, where everything's better and everything's safe."

Simon Le Bon In a Pirate Shirt....

I’ve spent the past week doing a lot of things, but sadly working on The Legacy has not been one of them. I've been reading about writing, but I  know, I know...WRITERS WRITE.  

I can procrastinate with the best of them and sometimes life just takes over.  No excuses (other than the one I just gave).  But I'm thinking new week -- clean slate.

I’ve had plenty to keep me distracted from my writing so in yet another ode to Andy Cohen, these are the things I’m obsessed with this week.

(Now I know I’ve played this song before.  Just think of it like another Inside the Actor’s Studio when James Lipton does his list of questions at the end…and for the record, one of least favorite words?  Moist.  Ugh.  Makes me cringe.)

#1:  Netflix streaming + Apple TV = one very.  happy.  girl. 

#2:  Mad Men:

Now I know I’ve gone on and on about a lot of TV shows here, and some of them may not be the best of the best.  (I’m looking at you One Tree Hill. And my eyes are burning.)  But I do actually have some good taste too.  What can I say?  I’m a Libra.  I need to balance everything out.

But Mad Men has been off the air for seventeen months and my blog has been on the air for fifteen, so while I could certainly have talked about it in the abstract, it’s going to be far more interesting to talk about it in real time.  I’ve been brushing up on my Season 4 episodes (thank you, Netflix) because I honestly don’t really remember how things ended in any true detail.  I cheated and started midway through the season – I couldn’t bear to watch Don Draper’s epic drunken, slutastic descent to rock bottom yet another time, so I started with “The Suitcase” which is by far one of the best episodes and love Peggy in this one.  Especially when she quite simply asks Don, “how long are you going to carry on like this?”

Season 4 is all uphill from there and after watching Like Crazy on Saturday, I was in dire need of something to laugh about.  (Side note – if you haven’t seen this movie, it’s good in an I’m-in-the-mood-for-something-indie-and-real-lifeish.  But be warned, it should have been called Like Crazy DEPRESSING.  Not even kidding a little.)  So for comic relief I literally laughed until there were tears in my eyes over the episode “The Beautiful Girls” when Don’s secretary, Mrs. Blakenship, dies at her desk.  The name alone is genius.  Her death and the aftermath are by far one of the funniest five minutes in Mad Men’s amazing history.  Brilliant!

I’m so so so excited for Sunday night.  Cannot wait to see what Matthew Weiner comes up with next.  Been a long time coming.

#3:  The Next Bailey Weggins Mystery:

Kate White's “So Pretty It Hurts” comes out tomorrow and I can’t wait. I’ve been reading the last Bailey Wiggins mystery to refresh my memory (do you see a theme here?).  But it came out in 2007.  I can’t remember everything!  Sadly it’s taken me longer than I hoped to read since mixing a Benadryl cocktail before bedroom almost always guarantees I won’t make it past 10 pages a night.  That won’t stop me from buying the new book and jumping right in after I finish the last 90 pages of this book.  Any excuse to hit up Barnes & Noble works for me!  All about supporting the bookstore so by the time I find an agent, physical books will still be getting printed.

#4:  Pretty Little Liars:

Judge if you wish.  Tonight is the big reveal on who A is and apparently is the most tweeted about show right now.  This show does twists so well, I’m not even sure where to begin guessing on who A is.  I do believe A is more than one person, but who those people are, I can’t quite tell.  I don’t think Mona was ballsy enough back when Ali was alive.  And I’m super suspect that Maya has something to do with it, but she moved to town after Ali disappeared so how will they connect those dots? 

I’m creeped out by the Melissa/Garrett coupledom, but that all seems a bit obvious given the clues in the past few weeks.  Have to believe that can’t be the answer.

All I know is I’m so bored to death with the Ezra storyline I kind of hope he gets arrested or run over by a car.  Seriously, Aria – go hang out with Jason.  Far more interesting storyline!

But come 8 p.m. I am locked in to find out!

#5:  The Music at the Gym:

I have a lot of love for Equinox for lots of reasons.  The extreme attention to cleaning and the fact that they are constantly updating equipment and replacing the floor mats are just some of the more obvious.  But one of the best parts of my beloved gym is the music.  There’s always a solid mix, to the point that I’m turning off my Shuffle to listen to what the Equinox DJ has cranking.  Green Day.  Fratellis.  Jet.  Ting Tings.  No Doubt. 

And then there’s always an 80s influence which I LOVE.  This morning didn’t disappoint when they dug this gem out of the archives.  Bra-vo!

Everything about this video is why videos from the early 80s will forever be the best.  The fact that John, Nick and Simon also got a 3-for-1 deal on their pirate shirts is just the cherry on top.  But no worries, Andy - I still love you the most.

Time to head to Rosewood. Anyone want to chime in on A's identity???

Hello, Lover!

For Carrie Bradshaw, it was a pair of pink Christian Louboutin heels purchased in honor of her last night on the town with Big, in the “I Heart NY” episode (one of the best btw...Carrie and Big doing the twist!  Epic!) that got her to let out a big sigh and the “Hello, lover”. 

For me?  Well I’m a simple girl.  I get most of my shoes at J. Crew or Tory, when I’m feeling crazy.  But some days it takes even less to make me happy.  Just the other day I was doing a little “hello, lover” of my own.  And for very good reason:

Now sure the boxes are half the size and twice the cost of when I was a kid (you know…when you had to walk barefoot through the snow for Girl Scout cookies).  But I suspect my thighs will thank me later for the portion change.  But it’s challenging the hell out of my self-control.  Color me vulnerable because o-m-g if the damn cookies don’t taste as freaking amazing as they did when I was a kid.  The one good thing about life springing ahead today is it’s one less hour for my willpower to be tested.

And how bad is it that these two boxes were kind of, sort of one of the highlights of my week?  (Not sure what that says about my week).  But without new episodes of Revenge and totally slacking on my writing, it’s been slow going.

From what I can tell the cheese (me) is standing alone when it comes to watching One Tree Hill.  So I’ll save you the pain of having to read about it.   Hey! You can’t please all of the people all of the time.  But if something epic happens, be warned, I’ll be mentioning it.  (And based on what I’ve watched so far, I think you’ll be spared any future recaps.  It’s just that bad.) 

I also seem to be the one person on the block who is still watching Desperate Housewives.  I’ll admit, there was a doozie of a season when Paul Young moved back to town, but all in all I think it was a great show.  Not-to-great is the spoiler I heard from that damn Nicolette Sheridan trial (WARNING!  HERE COMES THE SPOILER) that they are killing off Mike tonight. I mean WTF?  The whole show started and revolved around him and Susan getting-being-staying together.  And now they are going to kill him off?  BOOOOOOOOOOOO!  Life doesn’t guarantee happy endings…that’s kind of why I tune into TV so much. Fingers crossed it’s a false rumor or not a fatal gunshot wound. 

So with some time away from the TV and a truly long overdue phone date with a old friend about doing things for ourselves, I went out and got this little kit of amazingness.  

I’m pretty much a slut for anything Bliss and I’ve tried this mask before, but the whole kit really is a great self-indulgence.  And I got the eye mask part too, which seriously is just fun.  At home spa.  Love it! 

And with that, I’m calling it a night.  I’m very excited for Kate White’s new novel to come out next week, so am re-reading the last in the Bailey Weggins series to get me psyched up for it.  I’m crazy like that.  

And while letting the shuffle feature work its magic on my computer and was reminded how great this song is.  Sorry the sound quality isn't better, but I could (and have) been playing this one on repeat all weekend long!

So many jumping sharks...it's kind of like watching dolphins.

Here is today’s inspiration:

I’ve had it framed and I pretty much read it daily.  It’s that kick in the ass I need to remind myself that writing is my everything.   Has been for ages.  And even though I blow it off sometimes...full on abandon it...I keep coming back.  And when it doesn’t quite go according to plan - the agent says no thank you or sometimes says nothing at all - that what matters is to keep going.  I sound like a cheesy Hallmark card, huh?  Or one of those wrap-up-the-problems-in-thirty-minutes TV shows from the 80s.  Alas, this is me just reminding me, to keep writing.  Because sometimes I need to force my ass back in the chair.  Like now.

I was doing what I dubbed “Crazy Big Brainstorming” last night to try to come up with ideas to raise the stakes for my main character in the book in circulation, because there’s a very good chance I’m going to need to send it out to another round of agents.  Not because I’m being all negative, but because I’m being realistic.  And because the inner perfectionist just knows that I can do better.  And even if an agent accepts it as is, there will be future editing.  And I know I can write a more compelling story.  That the middle sags a bit and could use an injection of drama and a bomb of out of left field and some liposuction for the fat that’s just sitting there, taking up space.

But my brainstorm went in circles, so I’m trying to jump start my ideas but distracting myself with something else.  Not going so well since I’m just writing about what I can’t write about.  This is what happens when I can’t get out of my own head.  So I popped in some Veronica Mars and am hoping that with a little osmosis the great writing of the show will translate into some kick ass ideas all my own.  I like to call this my "process".  Don't judge.  It's totally legit.  

Mrow!

Ever since Logan showed up on Ringer I’ve been feeling a lot sentimental for Veronica and the gang.  Now I have to say, I was worried that Logan was going to be some uptight d. bag teacher on Ringer that was going to teach Juliet some moral life lessons.  So happy I was wrong.  Sure, at first, I thought the Wild Things turn of events was a little bit of a rip-off.  But then again, no body does “the obligatory psychotic jackass” like the guy formerly known as Logan Echolls. (Thank you Jason Dohring and Rob Thomas for making that character come to life.  And no, not that Rob Thomas.  Not the “it’s 3 a.m. and I must be lonely” dude.  Though I’m a big fan of that writing too.)  I love the evil corner he turned, but I fear he may have gotten his ass written out of the show. He’s not dead like Gemma, so fingers crossed, he’ll be back to wreak some havoc!  

Sidebar - Should I be embarrassed I had to look up "wreak havoc" because I wasn’t sure if it was wreck havoc? Perhaps.  Lucky for you I have even bigger things to be embarrassed about and I’m not afraid to write about them.  I give you...

One Tree Hill:

The shame level of this is so high it’s pretty much off the charts.  It used to be good (don’t laugh).  And then it was a little less good. (TV show writers...I BEG of you!  Please stop making the smartest girl in school get knocked up, decide to keep the baby, get married and have it not end up like an episode of Teen Mom!).  And then it was fun again. (Enter Austin Nichols.  James Van der Beek.  Good voice overs and great music.)  What can I say?  I just can’t stop watching.  I’ve missed some episodes here and there (in truth, there were two other shows to record at the same time and something had to give).  Now that the show is in its final season (I think they only came up with all of twelve episodes) I will watch to the bitter end.  It's pretty painful to watch.  And not in a *good* painful way.  

Big sigh!

It’s no secret I watch some deliciously bad TV, but I have to say that even for me, this one is a struggle.  OTH has jumped the shark so many times, I think the sharks have had babies.  So many bad story lines in the past to choose from but to start...Dan gets a black market heart. Brooke takes in a juvie teenage foster kid after her baby adoption falls through (and then Brooke gets beat up by the brother of the best friend of her teenage foster kid...just stop!).  The psycho nanny that tried to kidnap Jamie and kill Dan.  Brooke and Jamie almost drowning in the lake.  When the tennis player who looks like Clay’s dead wife shows up, stalks him and then tries to kill him and Quinn. (And the murder attempt is while they’re all at Sundance, I think, to watch Julian’s film.  HUH????  How does that even happen?).

So yeah, it’s been some tough going.  Cue Season 9.  

Now I had all of these episodes clogging up my DVR since January and over the last two weekends I managed to plow through them and I swear to God even the sharks are swimming away from all the blood in the water.  I have a lot of respect for you Mark Schwahn and the show you created, so forgive me for rattling off this list of insanity: 

• The guy who beat up Brooke is out of jail and he’s stalking her.  And evil music keeps playing.  And her and Julian are always running around but where are their kids?
• Oh yeah, Julian left one of their twins locked up in his car and the firemen had to get the baby out and Julian had all sorts of guilt...for about half an episode. 
• Nathan has been kidnapped.  I can’t even be bothered to know by who. Russian mob?  Something to do with his basketball recruiting.  So stupid.  The kidnappers are also drug dealers.  And they are somehow coincidentally connected to Dan from his prison days so of course he’ll save the day even though he’s evil.  Oh and there’s also a rogue cop who is part of the kidnapping to make money because he’s mad he didn’t get promoted to Detective.  Holy crap!  This is a TV storyline and I can find an agent?  
• Mouth is fat.  That’s an actual storyline.  Really?  I mean give someone an STD or something.  Fat guy who doesn’t think he’s fat.  I’m dying.
• Clay has some split personality and random memory loss so he’s in a clinic and bonds with a little boy who TURNS OUT TO BE HIS SON THAT HE BLOCKED OUT EVEN HAVING.  I actually screamed at my TV at this “reveal”.  Just effing stop.  Now.  Please. I beg of you.  It was bad enough when Peyton could die if she ever got preggers...which of course she did...and insisted on having the kid even if she might die.  Ridic!  
• And then, there was that little gleam of hope that Chad Michael Murray was coming back as a special guest.  Oh, Lucas, how I do love you so.  (Through loved you with Brooke.  Not so much with Peyton.  So I kind of hate how your character turned out.)  So Lucas comes back to help Haley deal with the whole my-husband-is-missing-but-I-haven’t-done-my-slow-motion-walk-to-the-morgue-scene-yet.  And oddly, they never leave the airport.  And for some reason that I cannot begin to fathom CMM looks the way he did when he made Freaky Friday with La Lohan almost ten years ago.

The Freaky Friday days

And today.  

How the hell did that happen?  Dude!  This hairdo does you ZERO justice.  Not to be all shallow and all about the looks, but c'mon.  I waited over two years for this.  A girl likes some eye candy. 

So now, with about four episodes to go, and no way to comprehend what the hell is going to happen next I can only hope they return to the way things were. (And what a bummer that Stephen Colletti’s character is going to jail for beating that dude up in the last episode. Hope he gets out in time to make the 2-hour finale!). 

But in my dream world, I hope for a touch of the good old days with a voice over like this one from Season 3, Episode 15:

"I've come to the conclusion that if having things turn out the way you wanted them to is the measure of a successful life, then some would say that I'm a failure. The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past. And recognize that every day won't be sunny, and when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair remember it's only in the black of night you see the stars. And those stars will lead you back home. So don't be afraid to make mistakes, or stumble and fall, cause most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination.”

Or one like this (aka, when voiceover + great song = tears for the sap known as moi).

  

So I’m going to wipe my tears and tune into my Monday night PLL drama.  Can I just stop for a minute and say how much I L-O-V-E Mona?  She’s genius.  Life before the shark jumps is so much more fun!