So many jumping sharks...it's kind of like watching dolphins.

Here is today’s inspiration:

I’ve had it framed and I pretty much read it daily.  It’s that kick in the ass I need to remind myself that writing is my everything.   Has been for ages.  And even though I blow it off sometimes...full on abandon it...I keep coming back.  And when it doesn’t quite go according to plan - the agent says no thank you or sometimes says nothing at all - that what matters is to keep going.  I sound like a cheesy Hallmark card, huh?  Or one of those wrap-up-the-problems-in-thirty-minutes TV shows from the 80s.  Alas, this is me just reminding me, to keep writing.  Because sometimes I need to force my ass back in the chair.  Like now.

I was doing what I dubbed “Crazy Big Brainstorming” last night to try to come up with ideas to raise the stakes for my main character in the book in circulation, because there’s a very good chance I’m going to need to send it out to another round of agents.  Not because I’m being all negative, but because I’m being realistic.  And because the inner perfectionist just knows that I can do better.  And even if an agent accepts it as is, there will be future editing.  And I know I can write a more compelling story.  That the middle sags a bit and could use an injection of drama and a bomb of out of left field and some liposuction for the fat that’s just sitting there, taking up space.

But my brainstorm went in circles, so I’m trying to jump start my ideas but distracting myself with something else.  Not going so well since I’m just writing about what I can’t write about.  This is what happens when I can’t get out of my own head.  So I popped in some Veronica Mars and am hoping that with a little osmosis the great writing of the show will translate into some kick ass ideas all my own.  I like to call this my "process".  Don't judge.  It's totally legit.  

Mrow!

Ever since Logan showed up on Ringer I’ve been feeling a lot sentimental for Veronica and the gang.  Now I have to say, I was worried that Logan was going to be some uptight d. bag teacher on Ringer that was going to teach Juliet some moral life lessons.  So happy I was wrong.  Sure, at first, I thought the Wild Things turn of events was a little bit of a rip-off.  But then again, no body does “the obligatory psychotic jackass” like the guy formerly known as Logan Echolls. (Thank you Jason Dohring and Rob Thomas for making that character come to life.  And no, not that Rob Thomas.  Not the “it’s 3 a.m. and I must be lonely” dude.  Though I’m a big fan of that writing too.)  I love the evil corner he turned, but I fear he may have gotten his ass written out of the show. He’s not dead like Gemma, so fingers crossed, he’ll be back to wreak some havoc!  

Sidebar - Should I be embarrassed I had to look up "wreak havoc" because I wasn’t sure if it was wreck havoc? Perhaps.  Lucky for you I have even bigger things to be embarrassed about and I’m not afraid to write about them.  I give you...

One Tree Hill:

The shame level of this is so high it’s pretty much off the charts.  It used to be good (don’t laugh).  And then it was a little less good. (TV show writers...I BEG of you!  Please stop making the smartest girl in school get knocked up, decide to keep the baby, get married and have it not end up like an episode of Teen Mom!).  And then it was fun again. (Enter Austin Nichols.  James Van der Beek.  Good voice overs and great music.)  What can I say?  I just can’t stop watching.  I’ve missed some episodes here and there (in truth, there were two other shows to record at the same time and something had to give).  Now that the show is in its final season (I think they only came up with all of twelve episodes) I will watch to the bitter end.  It's pretty painful to watch.  And not in a *good* painful way.  

Big sigh!

It’s no secret I watch some deliciously bad TV, but I have to say that even for me, this one is a struggle.  OTH has jumped the shark so many times, I think the sharks have had babies.  So many bad story lines in the past to choose from but to start...Dan gets a black market heart. Brooke takes in a juvie teenage foster kid after her baby adoption falls through (and then Brooke gets beat up by the brother of the best friend of her teenage foster kid...just stop!).  The psycho nanny that tried to kidnap Jamie and kill Dan.  Brooke and Jamie almost drowning in the lake.  When the tennis player who looks like Clay’s dead wife shows up, stalks him and then tries to kill him and Quinn. (And the murder attempt is while they’re all at Sundance, I think, to watch Julian’s film.  HUH????  How does that even happen?).

So yeah, it’s been some tough going.  Cue Season 9.  

Now I had all of these episodes clogging up my DVR since January and over the last two weekends I managed to plow through them and I swear to God even the sharks are swimming away from all the blood in the water.  I have a lot of respect for you Mark Schwahn and the show you created, so forgive me for rattling off this list of insanity: 

• The guy who beat up Brooke is out of jail and he’s stalking her.  And evil music keeps playing.  And her and Julian are always running around but where are their kids?
• Oh yeah, Julian left one of their twins locked up in his car and the firemen had to get the baby out and Julian had all sorts of guilt...for about half an episode. 
• Nathan has been kidnapped.  I can’t even be bothered to know by who. Russian mob?  Something to do with his basketball recruiting.  So stupid.  The kidnappers are also drug dealers.  And they are somehow coincidentally connected to Dan from his prison days so of course he’ll save the day even though he’s evil.  Oh and there’s also a rogue cop who is part of the kidnapping to make money because he’s mad he didn’t get promoted to Detective.  Holy crap!  This is a TV storyline and I can find an agent?  
• Mouth is fat.  That’s an actual storyline.  Really?  I mean give someone an STD or something.  Fat guy who doesn’t think he’s fat.  I’m dying.
• Clay has some split personality and random memory loss so he’s in a clinic and bonds with a little boy who TURNS OUT TO BE HIS SON THAT HE BLOCKED OUT EVEN HAVING.  I actually screamed at my TV at this “reveal”.  Just effing stop.  Now.  Please. I beg of you.  It was bad enough when Peyton could die if she ever got preggers...which of course she did...and insisted on having the kid even if she might die.  Ridic!  
• And then, there was that little gleam of hope that Chad Michael Murray was coming back as a special guest.  Oh, Lucas, how I do love you so.  (Through loved you with Brooke.  Not so much with Peyton.  So I kind of hate how your character turned out.)  So Lucas comes back to help Haley deal with the whole my-husband-is-missing-but-I-haven’t-done-my-slow-motion-walk-to-the-morgue-scene-yet.  And oddly, they never leave the airport.  And for some reason that I cannot begin to fathom CMM looks the way he did when he made Freaky Friday with La Lohan almost ten years ago.

The Freaky Friday days

And today.  

How the hell did that happen?  Dude!  This hairdo does you ZERO justice.  Not to be all shallow and all about the looks, but c'mon.  I waited over two years for this.  A girl likes some eye candy. 

So now, with about four episodes to go, and no way to comprehend what the hell is going to happen next I can only hope they return to the way things were. (And what a bummer that Stephen Colletti’s character is going to jail for beating that dude up in the last episode. Hope he gets out in time to make the 2-hour finale!). 

But in my dream world, I hope for a touch of the good old days with a voice over like this one from Season 3, Episode 15:

"I've come to the conclusion that if having things turn out the way you wanted them to is the measure of a successful life, then some would say that I'm a failure. The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past. And recognize that every day won't be sunny, and when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair remember it's only in the black of night you see the stars. And those stars will lead you back home. So don't be afraid to make mistakes, or stumble and fall, cause most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination.”

Or one like this (aka, when voiceover + great song = tears for the sap known as moi).

  

So I’m going to wipe my tears and tune into my Monday night PLL drama.  Can I just stop for a minute and say how much I L-O-V-E Mona?  She’s genius.  Life before the shark jumps is so much more fun!