Faking the tan...preserving the face....and worshiping Katie

I’m a firm believer in pampering oneself. In doing what makes happy. What makes you feel good. What makes you look good.  And feel good about how you look. 

So it’s Sunday and while I’m in the most major denial of what tomorrow morning brings (evil in a corporate package), I’m hanging onto even last minute of self-indulgence tonight.  And here’s some products I’ve loving (and not loving) right now:

  

Jergens Natural Glow

I'm a girl blessed with Casper-white skin and I'm fairly certain it actually repels the sun.  But it's that time of year when black opaque tights get stored until September.  Sigh. Farewell girl's best friend.  And I will admit I shudder at the thought of having to expose my legs to the world.  Not only because of the shame of being translucent, but also because I look like I've spent the winter locked up in a panic

room, totally Vitamin D deficient, and people give me weird looks.  Jerks.

Sidebar - you can save the lectures about being proud of what I was born with.  I know.  I shouldn't care what other people think.  I get it.  But it's not about them.  It's about me.   I  don't love my colorless skin.  And I'm not about to stand in a tanning booth or get a drippy, smelly, expensive spray tan.

So when one of my fair-skinned west coast friends boasted about this Jergens lotion...practically swore by it...I gave it a go.  And it does the trick.  And then some.  Subtle color after a few days.  And it keeps on building.  And it doesn't smell like suntan lotion or fake tanning cream.  

So slather it on ladies.  Proudly flash your legs around town. And walk the walk of a girl blessed with a great glow from head to toe.  (Rhyme not intentional.)

La Mer – The Regenerating Serum

Many thanks to the lady at Saks for giving me some samples of this product.  It's amazing.  I wake up and my skin looks great.  Feels great.  And I swear with continued usage I might be able to freeze time...or at least slow it down...on my face.  Diminishes lines and wrinkles.  Rejuvenates.  Firms.  I mean, hello!  Miracle in a bottle here peeps!

The prospect of Botox or a face lift or plastic surgery scares the bejeezus out of me.  So my neck might eventually look like a chicken or a turkey or waddle and wrinkle (mmmm.....pretty).   But that's what scarves and turtlenecks are for.  And sure, my hands will eventually age and wrinkle and might give me  away.  But that's what amazing nail polish colors and hand creams are for.  

And I hope...I pray...I believe, that committing to yet another La Mer product (my fourth and counting) will keep me looking my amazing thirtysomething self for many, many years to come.  I won't lie, ladies. It's an investment.  But it will last forever.  And what's more important to invest in than yourself?     

Alterna – Kendi Dry Oil Mist

I am ALWAYS  on the lookout for something that will make my hair smoother  and shinier and fuller and less frizzy and less splitty.  And also something that might possibly keep my bangs from wanging out in 12 different directions at the mere mention of the word humidity.  And while this product doesn’t do all that, it does achieve the shiny and protects my hair from all that heat and all the styling tools I rain down upon it.

Now sure, one reason I got it was I had a 15% off coupon for Sephora (holler for being a VIB) and while searching the site to figure out just how to spend my discount, I stumbled upon Alterna.  And sure I’m always game for trying something new. But when I found out that Katie Holmes was not only the new spokesperson but also a co-owner….well, I have one word for you…DONE.

I'm pretty completely Katie obsessed in her pre and post Tom world. (Not a fan during the Stepford Scientology days.)  Joey.  Pieces of April.  The Romantics.  The fashion.  

Loving the mist.  My hair looks way better  (Though that could also be the 3" of dead weight I had hacked off).  So pretty pleased with my hair, on the non-humid days.  And still hoping one day that I can look this effortlessly amazing.

 

Bumble and Bumble - Texture

And then there's this. Before I discovered Alterna and was looking for something to give me some oomph I gave this a go.  And now I'm going to let it go.  Such a major letdown.

Let me first say, that I love Love LOVE B&B.  I worship at their shampoo and conditioner. I have tried a multitude of products and been happy with them (though nothing fights humidity or protects against heat styling....yet).

But Texture should really be called Paste. Because that's what it is.  It may as well be glue.  I used a small amount and it was like some gross version of psycho-hold something where I could pull my hair in all sorts of directions and it held.  Like 80s hair band directions.  Horrible.  Never mind how it felt.  Immediately washed my hair and had to start all over again.

I do so love you, Bumble, but you let me down on this one.  I'm only sorry I threw out the receipt because now it's going in the trash.  Cautionary tale, there.  At least I didn't buy the full-sized tube.  Rats!  Drat!  $&*#$(@!

So with that, it's Sunday night and I officially need to wind down and deny the alarm clock.  And stay tuned...it's finale week for Scandal, Revenge and Castle.  And a new episode of Housewives will be on tomorrow.  And some celeb is bound to do something worth chatting about.  So more on all of that to come.  

And if you have any products to rave about...or warn us about...then please, share, share away!

Fab Five Friday - Obsessions Take Over

 

And I’m back.  Always have the best of intentions, but my day job is getting in the way of my dream job and sucking all my energy away as it’s sucking away the hours of my day. But I’m making a deal with myself and not opening the work laptop this weekend. It’s going to be all about me me me!!! (Knock on wood).

So yes I’ve been off the blogosphere for a bit, but rest assured I’ve had lots I’ve wanted to say.  (Does it count if I’m writing in my head?)  There’s been some highs and lows.  A trip to Texas.  Finished reading a book.  Started another.  Cleaned my closet.  Got a great pair of shoes. And yes, clearly procrastinated with my writing for no good reason other than the fear.  But then there’s this (so true):

  

So here we go again.  And here’s what I’m obsessed with this lovely (minus the humidity) Friday:

#1 - Before Midnight:

Not enough words for how excited I am for the next installment in the Before Sunrise/Before Sunset movie series.  I fell in love with Ethan Hawke in Dead Poet’s Society.  And then seeing him in Before Sunrise was my point of no return. 

That movie made me believe in all of the romantic magic of fate and destiny and the idea that one encounter…one day….can change everything.   And then he writes the book about her in the hopes they will meet again.  And then do.  (I might be crying a bit right now.  So damn great.)

Ethan and Julie Delpy are amazing together.  I am a bit obsessed with Jesse and Celine.  And I cannot wait to see what happens next.  There is something so sexy and dreamy about spending one day just talking.  Letting all the passion build up. Having such an intense human connection. 

Hurrah to Ethan, Julie and Richard Linklater for doing it all over again.

And if you haven’t seen these movies yet, first up I have to say, FOR SHAME!!!  And then I say get you on Netflix and get on it.  You won’t regret it.

#2 - Book Architecture:

I got this book after April’s Writers Digest Conference.  It’s essentially what it sounds like.  It’s a process of dissecting your book – organizing and revising your manuscript by literally taking it apart (as in cutting up the pages with a scissors, into the individual scenes) and then putting it back together again.  Change the order.  Toss what doesn’t work.  Write what’s missing.  Rewrite what’s almost working.   Okay, so maybe that wasn’t exactly what it sounds like unless you’re a writer and fan of architecture, but either way, a few weeks after I bought the book and one round trip business trip to Dallas afforded me the time to take a deep dive into the book. 

The Legacy revision project is underway and I have my one agent lead on deck when I’m done.  I need to prioritize this baby and get it done quicker than what I thought would be a fairly easy lickety-split refi.  But four months later and I *finally* have a closing date for next week.  Ohthankgod!  Word to the wise fellow New Yorkers….don’t go co-op.  They have no respect for your time.  Just saying.

First up.  Book Architecture.  Then I can deal with home architecture.

#3 - Million Dollar Listing – New York:

As a Bravo-addict I’ve seen endless commercials for this show.  And nothing about it really appealed to me.  I worked with brokers for a decade and while I did have the good fortune to work with some really great guys, I also got to meet the smarmiest of the smarm.  Why would I want to watch this on TV?  I lived the commercial broker life.  I’ve worked with residential brokers and know a lot of them are cut from the same smarmy cloth. 

And then there was a marathon on earlier this week. 

Bravo was ramping up for the season premiere which of course requires playing all of last season’s episodes, what seems like non-stop.  (Where are my Real Housewives reruns when I need them???).  So Million Dollar Listing… 

Who am I kidding?  Totally.  Sucked.  In.    

Egotistical dudes acting like frat boys with trust funds.  Ridiculous New York real estate.  Even more ridiculous clients who bash the hell out of the most amazing $10M apartments with views of Central Park that are so ridic they kind of look fake.  Oh, and best of all?  Complete male-bitch-fight drama between these custom-suit wearing, Rolex-watch-flaunting, potty-mouthed, I-have-a-full-time-driver broker dudes. 

Need more reasons to watch?

It’s grown men throwing drinks in each other’s faces.  Jumping in the pool at the other broker’s showing just to piss him off.  (And, yes, I wrote POOL.  As in a NYC apartment.  With.  A.  Pool.)  It’s catty and ridiculous and over-the-top and preposterous and dripping with self-absorbed egotistical obnoxiousness.  Which clearly makes it ahh-may-zing.  And you get to gawk at Ryan’s bare ass in the season opener.  In case you needed a little nudity to pique your interest.

I have one word for you. 

Watch.

The Met Ball:

Monday night.  All the fashiony fashion guys and gals hit the red carpet outside the Metropolitan with the “Chaos to Couture” theme.  (bee-tee-dubs…cannot wait to see this exhibit and flash my member pass to skip the line.)  More on that later. 

For now, so much really cool fashion:

  

 

But where was Rachel Zoe? I miss her already.  Which brings me to…

#5:  The Rachel Zoe Project.  As in “the end of”….

I read online that this season was the last. And I kind of have no doubt because the season finale had “series finale” written all over it.  There were flashbacks.  Voiceover retrospectives.  And a closing shot of the cast that might as well have been Kelly and Steve and Dylan and Nat dancing the night away at David and Donna’s wedding.  (I’m pretty sure Mrs. Teasley was rocking out in the background somewhere.)

I’m so sad if RZ is really dunzo.  For one, because I just love the show.  Fashion.  Drama.  Celebs.  Hysterical catchphrases.  Great style.  Paris. New York. Milan.  LA.  Award shows.  Photo shoots.  Chanel.  Jewelry.  Over-the-top everything.  Vintage shopping. I could go on and on. 

I’m sad to see it go. Thank god I have all the old esp. from iTunes.  (Obsessed.  Party of One.)  And in the last two seasons there was Mandana who I think just might be one of the coolest cool girls out there.   What can I say?  She just rocks.  And I barely had enough time to develop a proper girl crush.  I wanted to see what other outfits she came up with.  How she continued to style her hair, which is the same general length of mine (bangs included). But hers always looks so much better.  And I want to know – does she still eat Cheetos for breakfast? (She’s my hero.)  Is her ulcer finally gone?  Is she still working until midnight on Sundays?  (Hope not!)

My dream is that we’ll meet again. Like Jesse and Celine. But hopefully it won’t take us nine years. 

Until we meet again, there’s this.  (Seriously.  Watch these movies.  Now.)

Writers Write. The End. But Also the Beginning....

I’m still coming off the whirlwind high of this weekend’s Writers Digest Conference.  It was exhausting and exhilarating and inspiring and interesting and overwhelming and makes me want to write my ass off and also makes me feel like I’ve wasted so much time not writing and squandered away too many days watching reruns of Murder, She Wrote and Castle and convincing myself it’s all in the name of research.  Or I lose countless time trying to find a good celeb haircut picture to bring to my new hairdresser on Saturday so I don’t come out looking like crap because I can’t articulate how I want to look even at this stage in my life. 

So now my head is spinning with all the things I want to do….I need to do:

• Start voraciously editing “The Legacy”.
• And at the same time read the fabulous new book I bought, “Blueprint Your Bestseller” by Stuart Horowitz, to learn how to edit and revise my way to success. 
• Actually use my Twitter account that I’ve never posted one character to, never mind 140 characters. 
• It goes without saying that I need to start following people on Twitter to get them to follow me and build my platform (which was often looked at as a 4-letter word this weekend) so when the time comes, more than friends and family will be interested in buying my book (knock on wood!!!).
• Figure out a better way to use Facebook.
• And figure out how to promote this blog. 
• Which means create more blog content so my five followers have something to read.  (And if you’re one of those five, tell your friends…repost me…spread the good word….please!!!!!!!  I’m only half kidding btw.  By which I mean not even kidding at all.)
• Read my Donald Maass books.  (His session was amazing!!!)
• Diversify.  Word is that’s the key.  You need to do more than books.  Or just articles.  Or just. one. thing.
• So now I have to research websites and brainstorm and write some more.

And on and on it goes. I don’t even know where to begin, but I’m so anxious to start going, but here I am, kind of frozen with all my choices.  My head is literally spinning.

But what it all boils down to is this – writers write.  It’s that simple.  It’s like eating well and working out will help get you and keep you in shape.  Duh!  We get it.  We know it.  But it’s still one of the hardest things for us to do.  I somehow procrastinate from the things I do want to do deep down...that I like to do.  (Though some days I do really hate running.  Like a lot.)  

So that of course begs the question of why do I sometimes avoid the one thing I love.  That I say I love.  That I want to do.  To write.  It's what it's all about.  

But here's the thing.  Writers write.

And I’ll keep saying it over and over.  Writing it over and over.  Reminding myself over and over. 

WRITERS WRITE.

One of the last speakers I saw yesterday told us to take a week…let it all sink in…don’t try to get it all done in the next few hours or next few days, which is of course the natural instinct. I was all gangbusters that I would do Camp NaNoWriMo in April, which is another chance to knock out 50,000 words and reboot my writing…looks like I’ll be waiting for the July Camp, seeing as how it’s April 8^th and while I did actually get some ideas down over the course of the weekend, I’m definitely not in a 50,000 word state of mind.

So for now, I’m reading over my notes.  Being pretty amazed by it all.  Letting my mind run wild. 

And channeling the advice of all the amazing people I met and saw this weekend:

• Write to quota.  Commit to a certain number of words, not hours, a week.
• Embrace the weirdness.
• We resist the parts of our book that are weakest. Confront them and work on them.
• Embrace patience.
• Or its cousin, stubbornness.
• Write through the block.
• Write without fear.
• Go to the bookstore – the cathedral of books.  And pray.
• Become part of a writing community.
• Writers write.

I could go on and on. If I could transcribe Adriana Trigiani and Tayari Jones’s entire speeches I would.  But instead I’ll leave you with this…whether you’re a writer or not, I hope it resonates in some way:

“The energy you put out there is the energy you get back…Once you commit to lighting your passion, doors will open for you.” – T.J.

“You’re not defeated.  You just haven’t been found yet.  Persist.” – A.T.

Manic Monday - Vault Open? Vault Closed?

Every once in a while I have a bit of buyer’s remorse that I went all “hey, it’s me” with this blog because that means I can’t always say what I really, really want to say.  And yeah, I know, I can do whatever I want. It’s a free country.  Blah-di-di-blah-blah-blah.  But as soon as I let loose and let it all hang out…that’s when the buyer’s remorse might kick in. 

Like if I wrote here what I’d say in text rant about my craptastic day and the people who made it that way. What I’d verbally vomit between glasses of wine and asking our lovely waitress “can we get some more chips?”.  What I’d scream at the TV when I watch bad good reality TV or E! or Girls or whatever else I’m obsessing with these days.  What last brought me to tears. (It’s more embarrassing that you’d even think. But shockingly it wasn’t the Lifetime movie Restless Virgins that I DVR’d and then watched in it’s horrid entirety.  That actually made me laugh.  And filled me with a bit of rage that crap like that gets made into a movie and I’m still striving to find an agent for what I think is far better writing in my book.  But I’m obvi totally biased.)  And of course if I said some of the thing that crossed my mind on a daily basis…this might get upgrade to a “not suitable for children” rating. 

But don’t get me wrong.  I’m still a bucket full of honest here.  Swear.  But some days it’s more like the cautious honesty you have with people you work with or people you just don’t want to invite inside the vault.  Not yet at least.  They get the honesty…but they don’t get the full disclosure.  Lest they think you were selfish or immature or insensitive or crazy or that you have bad taste in TV or that you rage too much on the weekend or that you are nightmare in relationships or that you should spend more time (or maybe less time) with your family.  That you whine and bitch and complain and judge and are a pushover or not opinionated enough or have way, way, way too many opinions.

And sure at the ripe old age of now, maybe I shouldn’t care.  And trust me when I say it’s not that I care.  But if we’ve learned anything from celeb Twitter accounts….you can’t always unring the bell.  And you can’t always unsee things. (Ugh. I’m back to that damn Bieber-is-shirtless-in-the-hospital image again. Damn you J.B.  And the cherry on top? You have a freak-out at the paparazzi. You’re giving them what they want.  And I know you have all sorts of weird pressure and you’re still a freaking tween living in a fake reality.  But to paraphrase some random person who I came across while surfing the US Weekly site in a daze this weekend- Bieber is one shaved head and umbrella away from a Britney 2007.  Cautionary tale, J.B.  Trust.  I’m not all kinds of honest here, but this is lots of honest.

Here comes the Libra.  You can’t unring that Bieber bell.  But I’m also a girl who likes to ring her bell.  Do we need balance?  Or are we just uber-complicated chicks?  Both, of course.

So the vault is open.  A bit.  I’m just going to be careful about what I let out.  And maybe change the faces and places to protect the innocent.  (Or rather not-so-innocent because they always make for more interesting stories anyway.)

Unfortunately sometimes I’m a big old sieve.  (Goalie!  Sieve!  Goalie!  Sieve!)  And it’s not always drinking thinking, so I really really have no one to blame but myself.   Like the other day at work when I didn’t even feel a slight twinge of shame when I not only admitted that I know what The Lying Game is, but in an effort to explain how horrible of a show it is I actually revealed that I’ve seen every episode since it premiered…and PS – we’re in Season 3 now….and not even Cordelia being on it can justify this Buffy 4-Eva fan watching it.  But I just can’t stop talking about it.  Even though the people I’m talking to are looking at me with wide eyes and a look that absolutely says they are embarrassed for me.  And then I tell them why I think Ethan is better than Thayer (officially worst teen soap name ever by-the-by).  Sigh.  I know.  Shame. 

But I’m cool with it.  Some people get very little out of me….some people get just enough to know who I am….and the rest….well, sorry you get the whole Kukla Fran and Caboodle.  If you know me at all, this is not a shocker.  If you don’t so much know me then apologies in advance.  Because here’s my Catch-22.

In order to get everything that’s in my head - and blocking all that creativity that I need to pour into my novel writing - I need to write it all down and get it out.   Stat. (Especially since the Writer’s Digest Conference is 3 weeks away and I don’t think I’ll have a new manuscript to pitch. But still going to be worth it.  Inspiration.  Motivation.  The kick in the ass I need.)  So I need to purge all the voices in my head…but not “voices” in a Sybil way….just in a I-have-a-lot-on-my-mind-that’s-kind-of-totally-weighing-me-down way.  And this is one of the places it’s going to happen. 

Apologies again for that about to happen.  But not just yet.  Because it’s Monday night and my brain is fried. And not only am I voluntarily watching 90210 (which no shocker here…is ending after this season.  RIP.   How dare you rival a classic?) I also watched the latest RHOBH.  And oddly Camille and Brandi make a cameo on 90210.  This is turning into a very odd/full circle kind of a night. 

And in something related to nothing, watching them in Paris is making me so So SO excited to go back.  So every time the cray cray from work (and life) starts to bleed into my brain I think about the light at the end of the tunnel. PARIS!  And I think about the wine…and the cheese…and the adventure we’re going to have…and the chocolate…and the scenery….and the great escape….and summertime pictures to balance out my November pictures from my last trip….and hopefully, maybe, if I’m lucky baby gets a brand new bag! 

I’m also so overtired and delusional that I got all choked up when Mauricio was on the bridge with Kyle and locked their lock and threw away the key.  But that’s a lusty crush for another day.  And here’s my other full circle moment….I don’t know why the hell Kyle’s store has the tagline “by Alene Too”.  But since I’m an Alene then I’m guessing it can be Mauricio and Alene TOO? 

In the words of Lisa Vanderpump.  “BOOM!”

And this song is for no other reason than that it's amazing.  And why it's in my head is a story for another day!