Faking the tan...preserving the face....and worshiping Katie

I’m a firm believer in pampering oneself. In doing what makes happy. What makes you feel good. What makes you look good.  And feel good about how you look. 

So it’s Sunday and while I’m in the most major denial of what tomorrow morning brings (evil in a corporate package), I’m hanging onto even last minute of self-indulgence tonight.  And here’s some products I’ve loving (and not loving) right now:

  

Jergens Natural Glow

I'm a girl blessed with Casper-white skin and I'm fairly certain it actually repels the sun.  But it's that time of year when black opaque tights get stored until September.  Sigh. Farewell girl's best friend.  And I will admit I shudder at the thought of having to expose my legs to the world.  Not only because of the shame of being translucent, but also because I look like I've spent the winter locked up in a panic

room, totally Vitamin D deficient, and people give me weird looks.  Jerks.

Sidebar - you can save the lectures about being proud of what I was born with.  I know.  I shouldn't care what other people think.  I get it.  But it's not about them.  It's about me.   I  don't love my colorless skin.  And I'm not about to stand in a tanning booth or get a drippy, smelly, expensive spray tan.

So when one of my fair-skinned west coast friends boasted about this Jergens lotion...practically swore by it...I gave it a go.  And it does the trick.  And then some.  Subtle color after a few days.  And it keeps on building.  And it doesn't smell like suntan lotion or fake tanning cream.  

So slather it on ladies.  Proudly flash your legs around town. And walk the walk of a girl blessed with a great glow from head to toe.  (Rhyme not intentional.)

La Mer – The Regenerating Serum

Many thanks to the lady at Saks for giving me some samples of this product.  It's amazing.  I wake up and my skin looks great.  Feels great.  And I swear with continued usage I might be able to freeze time...or at least slow it down...on my face.  Diminishes lines and wrinkles.  Rejuvenates.  Firms.  I mean, hello!  Miracle in a bottle here peeps!

The prospect of Botox or a face lift or plastic surgery scares the bejeezus out of me.  So my neck might eventually look like a chicken or a turkey or waddle and wrinkle (mmmm.....pretty).   But that's what scarves and turtlenecks are for.  And sure, my hands will eventually age and wrinkle and might give me  away.  But that's what amazing nail polish colors and hand creams are for.  

And I hope...I pray...I believe, that committing to yet another La Mer product (my fourth and counting) will keep me looking my amazing thirtysomething self for many, many years to come.  I won't lie, ladies. It's an investment.  But it will last forever.  And what's more important to invest in than yourself?     

Alterna – Kendi Dry Oil Mist

I am ALWAYS  on the lookout for something that will make my hair smoother  and shinier and fuller and less frizzy and less splitty.  And also something that might possibly keep my bangs from wanging out in 12 different directions at the mere mention of the word humidity.  And while this product doesn’t do all that, it does achieve the shiny and protects my hair from all that heat and all the styling tools I rain down upon it.

Now sure, one reason I got it was I had a 15% off coupon for Sephora (holler for being a VIB) and while searching the site to figure out just how to spend my discount, I stumbled upon Alterna.  And sure I’m always game for trying something new. But when I found out that Katie Holmes was not only the new spokesperson but also a co-owner….well, I have one word for you…DONE.

I'm pretty completely Katie obsessed in her pre and post Tom world. (Not a fan during the Stepford Scientology days.)  Joey.  Pieces of April.  The Romantics.  The fashion.  

Loving the mist.  My hair looks way better  (Though that could also be the 3" of dead weight I had hacked off).  So pretty pleased with my hair, on the non-humid days.  And still hoping one day that I can look this effortlessly amazing.

 

Bumble and Bumble - Texture

And then there's this. Before I discovered Alterna and was looking for something to give me some oomph I gave this a go.  And now I'm going to let it go.  Such a major letdown.

Let me first say, that I love Love LOVE B&B.  I worship at their shampoo and conditioner. I have tried a multitude of products and been happy with them (though nothing fights humidity or protects against heat styling....yet).

But Texture should really be called Paste. Because that's what it is.  It may as well be glue.  I used a small amount and it was like some gross version of psycho-hold something where I could pull my hair in all sorts of directions and it held.  Like 80s hair band directions.  Horrible.  Never mind how it felt.  Immediately washed my hair and had to start all over again.

I do so love you, Bumble, but you let me down on this one.  I'm only sorry I threw out the receipt because now it's going in the trash.  Cautionary tale, there.  At least I didn't buy the full-sized tube.  Rats!  Drat!  $&*#$(@!

So with that, it's Sunday night and I officially need to wind down and deny the alarm clock.  And stay tuned...it's finale week for Scandal, Revenge and Castle.  And a new episode of Housewives will be on tomorrow.  And some celeb is bound to do something worth chatting about.  So more on all of that to come.  

And if you have any products to rave about...or warn us about...then please, share, share away!

Ole! The Sunday rituals that happen all week long…

Best laid plans.  

Pick a topic for each day of the week and then it’ll make it easier to write.  And then as always seems to be the case, I went off the rails and had two weeks that went a little something like this:

• Fourteen hour work days.
• One work-related holiday dinner that I went to.
• And one that I skipped because I couldn’t swing it.
• A weekend out of town.
• A scramble to buy Christmas gifts.
• An epic push and some overnight fees to get my Christmas card done.
• One hair appointment.
• Karaoke.  And I actually sang.  (Apologies again to the crowd for picking Wannabe.)
• A birthday dinner that involved two great friends, too much wine and my taking home two maracas.
• Lots of blown of/delayed responses to texts, emails and most anything and everything that could be considered related to my personal life. 
• A haphazard gym routine.
• And many handfuls of Advil, Imitrex and Advil PM (though not all at the same time!)!

All in all not my best stretch of the year.  And a mess of cray cray that I have every intention of leaving in 2012.  Thanks for the memories.

But through it all, no matter how tired, tipsy or totally out of my mind I was, every night I topped it all off with a simple 60 seconds with Clarisonic.  I talk about it the way most people talk about a new relationship.  It’s my new true love.  And I have to say so far it’s going really well.  I’m going to start to go for twice a day whenever possible.  I convinced my mom to get one.  And I took the plunge – I bought the deep cleansing brush yesterday.  The display at Sephora was screaming my name and I consider myself lucky that was all I walked out with.  Well, all I walked out with from the Clarisonic line. 

I worship at the church of Sephora and here’s a little more of what goes into the illustrious self-indulgent beauty routine:

Ole:

I’m apt to scream “Ole!” just out of general excitement. And because pinkisthenewblog made it part of my vocab in what started out with a snide of snark and now I just find amusing.  But that has nothing to do with anything because today’s Ole is allabout Ole Henriksen.  Now for one, this came as a Sephora sample serum and moisturizer set, which normally I might have given away.  I am very Very VERY hesitant to put new products on my face because I walk by a place that does microdermabrasion and my face will go all sorts of haywire.

But this one-two punch had Vitamin C, which reminded me of the Bliss Oxygen foaming 5-minute facial, which I absolutely love, so I threw caution to the wind and gave Ole a go.  And it was so worth it. Love it!  Smells amazing.  Feels amazing going on.  And in the grand scheme of beauty products is in the very reasonable $45 range. 

The Truth Serum is step one an it’s supposed to help reduce fine lines and smooth the skin and even things out and help make a girl look amazing.  Since I’m at a certain age, where retaining a youthful glow is becoming more and more important I am totally in for this product. I put this on at night, post Clarisonic, and let it work it’s magic.  A little while later I’ll follow with the moisturizer, which also smells delish and goes on great and I am convinced is slowly making miracles happen while I sleep.  

They have a huge product list and everything from face wash to make-up wipes. And while I do still have massive Bliss loyalties, I am officially making the switch from their Oxygen eye cream/face cream line to Ole.  And I strongly, supremely recommend it to anyone looking for a change.  Or who is just looking. Or who can’t resist coming in with the new even before you are out with the old.  Ole!!!

More Manicures:

One of my friends at work got some free nail polish when she signed up with the manicurist who comes to our office every Friday. (Yes.  That happens.)  And one color which she affectionately referred to as “something only you could wear” is instantly amongst my faves.   I give you OPI "Every Month is Oktoberfest."

Not sure how I missed this gem (or the entire German collection for that matter) when it was released and I’m always a little sketch when polish is dark in the bottle but them comes out all streaky or not-as-dark-as-advertised.  Well, this one exceeds all expectations. It’s even darker in real life, with a hint of a deep purple under the red and I lust it!

Freebies:

I also have to say I’ve been hoarding my Sephora points because for the past I-can’t-remember-how-long all of the point-redemption gifts have pretty much epically sucked.  It’s always a moisturizer (my face is too particular), or hair oil (my hair is too particular), or mascara (I have yet to find one better than the purple Cover Girl Lash Blast I’ve been using for years) or something with glitter.   But to my total delight this week’s 500-point gift is a generous sample size of bumble and bumble’s Straight line(shampoo, conditioner and hair lotion).  Wheeeeeeeeeee!  Been very curious to try and now I can.  Woo-freaking-hoo!  Thank you, Sephora.  (And if you're really interested in trying or restocking some b&b, they have free shipping and free samples direct from the bumble and bumble site!  Happy Holidays, readers!)

Now if only you could resume giving away free samples that are not shitty perfumes.  Just saying.  It’s how I found Ole!  And Buxon lipgloss (which I’ve pretty much been addicted to since 2008).  We were so close to a truly ohh-amazing experience.  Bring back the best of beauty…because no matter how many times you give me the crappy perfume with a celeb name tied to it, it will not convince me to buy it. 

And tie it all together in a way that makes sense in my head, a little something from Beauty and the Beat, because I also worship at the feet of the The Go-Go’s.

To say I wanted to be Belinda Carlisle is the understatement of the century.  She defined cool to me.  As did this record:

Embracing the Bumble Within

I’m feeling a bit like the Abominable Snowman today.  Some rage.  Some frustration.  I could probably stand to run a brush through my hair too.  Though no worries…I don’t have any evil plan to take some innocent reindeers hostage.  But after what feels like the fiftieth day in a row of some combination of snow, sleet and sub-freezing temps, I feel like I’m living on the North Pole.  And I’m so over it.

Yes, I choose to live in New York, so I get it.  It’s winter.  In the northeast.  The weather is supposed to suck.  But the cabin fever is giving me delusions that I’m the Bumble from Rudolph.  I’m going to go out on a limb and say that openly comparing myself to the monstrous yeti is probably a bad sign of my current state of mind (not to mention my self-esteem) these days.

And on top of the snow, I have a dentist appointment on Monday.  The poor Bumble had to have his teeth yanked out (though it did make him much nicer in the long run).  Back in junior high I had to have four teeth pulled before I got my braces put on.  I don’t know if I was any nicer in the aftermath, but I do remember crying, my dad crushing some Bayer aspirin in sugar for me to take, and having the free pass to lay in my parents’ bed and watch American Anthem on HBO.   Mitch Gaylord and Janet Jones in an epic movie set against the backdrop of gymnastics and a song by Duran Duran’s Andy Taylor.  Movies from the 80s were sheer genius.  But I digress…

And two decades later I still blame that particularly sadistic dentist for my complete fear of going for a routine cleaning appointment.  He actually yelled at me when I started crying.  Here’s a hint Dr. Demented:  the mini shot of novocaine you jammed into my gums didn’t numb the pain of the gigantic wrench you used to twist four teeth out of a scared twelve-year-old’s mouth.  And the yelling?  You guessed it!  That only made me cry more.  Which in turn only made him yell more.  Thanks for the memories!

And don’t even get me started on how the *smell* of the dentist sends my stomach into knots. But since I’m fresh out of my I-take-Xanax-to-quell-my-dental-anxiety prescription, I have to face the music without the pleasure of being comfortably numb.  I’m sure this makes me sound like a complete baby, but in my opinion there are much lamer fears out there.  Like the fear of flutes or string or knees.  They’re all real.  I Googled them.  Maybe I’m being judgy.  After all, I’m an adult writing about my fear of the dentist. I’m also not too jazzed about flying, but that’s far more common. I’m working on that one.  And by “working on”, I mean that part of the reason I’m fresh out of Xanax is because I went to Europe in the fall.  Cry me a river, right?  Yeah, that trip was totally worth it.

But come Monday my dentist (who for the record is a very lovely, very understanding, very patient with a capital “P” man) is going to check on how my stress-induced, jaw-clenching, TMJ sitch is going.  The pain was so bad back in November that I was convinced I’d either broken a filling (and there are plenty back there to choose from) or that I had a new cavity or I needed a root canal.  I also debated the possibility that ten year’s ago my oral surgeon missed a phantom fifth wisdom tooth, which finally decided to make itself known. 

I was knocked out for that procedure, so for all I know he stopped after the second tooth and spent the rest of my appointment playing poker with the anesthesiologist.  But finding out I had a fifth wisdom tooth wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest.  These types of things happen.  I had a friend in college who hooked up with a girl with seven toes, though til this day I’m not sure if it was seven on one foot for a total of twelve toes or three on the left and four on the right.  He didn’t really volunteer the details.  And while I’m certainly grateful for my total of ten toes (in a five and five symmetry) it doesn’t make me any less anxious about the dentist.

And just like it’s easier to put on those five pounds than it is to lose them, it’s far easier for me to sit here and be an anxious, bitchy little Bumble.  But even he found a way to bounce back, since, well, Bumbles bounce!  Literally.  And that moment at the end of Rudolph when the Bumble puts the star on the tree always warms my little black heart.  “Looky what he can do!”  So I’m doing my damnedest to bounce back too. 

First, I’m going to blast some Green Day and clean for a bit, which I fully enjoy doing.  There’s something very satisfying about knocking something off my To Do list and I do have some slight control issues.  One person’s chore is another person’s treasure. 

And sure, the weather outside makes me want to do nothing other than crawl under my covers, turn on the TV and take a really long nap.  And I’m thinking I’ll do that too.  No one said bouncing back required actual physical activity.  I’ll start with a little mental bouncing.  It’s Saturday.  Naps are totally playable. It’s been dark out since I woke up this morning.  Oxygen is playing a Glee marathon.  All signs point to giving in to the comfort of my bed. 

So with that I’m going to bounce.