World Ruling Resolutions

I’m not a fan of New Year’s Resolutions.  I don’t believe in flipping the page on a calendar and suddenly getting the ‘okay’ to change a whole bunch of crap about myself and my life.  I mean, can you think of anything more intimidating than a laundry list of all the things you want to do different, better, for the first time (or the last time)?  Yikes!  Talk about a pressure cooker.

I can think of no better way to set myself up to fail than to stare at a list of insurmountable things to do.  Nope.  Not for me.  I mean any day that ends in a “y” is a good enough day to effect change, right?

So if you ask me (which I know you didn’t but I’m going to tell you anyway), we should be resolving and evolving every day. It doesn’t have to all be epic stuff.  It’s whatever you want it to be.  So whether it’s to hit the gym or take out the trash.  To get up five minutes earlier or to not wait until the last minute to make the hair appointment.  To buy less.  To buy more.  Smile at strangers.  Stand up for yourself.  Be happy.  Be less snarky. 

Whatever it is, it’s your own personal stuff.  And you can start over, start new, start fresh on any day you want.  It’s up to you and it’s your personal business.  Same as mine.  Which I’ll keep to me, myself and I.

But of course with me being me I couldn’t help but fantasize about all the things I would resolve to change in the universe if in the event I, well, ruled the world.  So here goes.  If I had the almighty power, I would wave my magic wand and a whole new world would start in 2014 and look a little something like this:

• Vanderpump Rules would film year round and air year round.  The drama would never end.  I don’t think I’ve been this obsessed pleasantly surprised about a reality TV show since LC and Kristin Cavallari walked onto my TV screen.  Keep Jax and Stassi and the Toms and the angry drunk with the bad dye job coming. (I know it’s you Katie.  I just like to hate on your hair and eyebrows). 
• I find the fabulous agent who lands me the amazing book deal, which affords me the opportunity to leave this corporate world behind.
• And then I finish another book.  And enjoy my book tour.  Kicking ass and taking names.
• The word “Kardashian” and anything and everything it’s associated with would magically disappear.  No more screen time.  No more overexposure.  No more sucking up minutes on E! News.  No tabloid coverage.  No ridiculous selfies.  No famous for knowing famous people.  None of it.  They would just go back to being a family in Calabasas that none of us ever knew existed.  
• Manicures would never chip.  And they wouldn’t require any gel or acrylics to stay put.
• The only time there would be crappy weather on the weekend would be when I was looking for an excuse to hibernate, hide out and do nothing.  Those things are so much easier to rationalize when it’s crazy raining or snowing or plain old arctic outside.  Here’s looking at you Mother Nature.
• Sirens, car horns, garbage trucks and generally disruptive noise would only be allowed from 9 a.m. – 6 p.m. on days I’m at work.  Other than that I want to enjoy the quiet.  I know I live in the city, but Midtown East would be free of this crap. 
• Miley would put her clothes on.
• McConaughey and B. Cooper would keep taking theirs off.
• I’d freeze time for a bit so I could enjoy the here and now.  I’ve frittered away time and since I can’t get it back, I’d like to stop it.  (Though if I could go back a few years, knowing then what I know now, that could be cool.  But this is all about looking forward not back.  So freeze time it is.)
• Manhattan real estate would be more affordable.  And I’d get myself an upgrade.  With a much better closet.  And doors that aren’t hanging by a string.  And a washer/dryer in the apartment.
• Johnny Damon would be playing baseball again.
• Crazy people would steer clear of me.  Not the good crazy people.  Just the ones who are crazy as all get out.  The stalkers and clingers.  The single white females.  The ones with the inexplicable tempers.  The ones who never own their mistakes.  Or who fabricate situations out of thin air to try to explain why they suck.  You know who I’m talking about….the ones who put the cray-cray in crazy.  People who like to get crazy – fun nights out, laughing until it hurts, twisted and dirty senses of humor, who knock off a bottle of wine and don’t hesitate to order another – you can all happily stay.  You make my life better.  Good crazy = totally cool.  Bad crazy = don’t go away mad…just go away.
• I’d also like the compulsive liars to leave me be.
• And the toxic folks.  You can keep on walking.  In fact I might send you all to an island together.  Or maybe to Britney’s Vegas show.  For life.  You’re toxic.  I’m slipping under.
• Weekly massages at Bliss would be required.
• As would monthly trips to Paris.  And I would fall asleep as soon as I sat down on the plane and wake up just as we landed, looking and feeling amazing.  Always in first class.  Because I deserve it.
• Book deals would not be handed out to people just because they are on TV.  What could Snookie and Brandi Glanville really have to say that’s worth the money they are making?  Maybe I’m jealous (I’d magically whisk that away btw).  But seeing people like this get even richer doing my dream does make me a little crazy.
• Travelling for fun would be a rule not an exception.
• Duran Duran would reunite. With Andy Taylor this time.  And I’d have front row seats.
• Sophia Bush would be my biffle.  As in BFFL.  As in best friend for life.  Since she’s already coming back to TV in January that magic was already spun.  So BFFL it is.
• Humidity would not affect my hair.
• The treadmill under the ceiling fan would always be available.
• My singing voice wouldn’t make people cry.  In pain.  And this would be my theme song:

So tell me…what would you resolve to change if you could?

Fab Five Friday. And we’re back!

Same story.  Different month.

I haven’t written in ages. 

Got sucked so deep into the black hellhole of work.  Then had an absolutely amazing, perfect, fun, much-needed girls trip to Paris.  In some ways, in the best ways, it was like college – staying up late drinking and talking about anything and everything, listening to music and just having the kind of great time with your best friends that living along doesn’t allow for.  But unlike college, the wine and alcohol were better, as were the accommodations and the shopping budgets.  Happy to contribute to the Parisian economy!

And now I’m in the post-vacation depression where I have to pretend to really, really love my job, so they let me keep it.  But I’m also trying to straddle that line of getting my job done without working 70-hour weeks.  Things on paper are not as easy as they appear. But come hell or high water I’m going to try my damndest to work to live not live to work.

So there’s that. 

But it’s also Friday and here are the Five Fab things I’m obsessed with:

1.  Real Housewives is over and the reunion is on!

This season had a lot of switching alliances and while NY managed to dethrone Queen Zarin, Vicki continues to rise from the ashes/shame of dating a d. bag like Brooks.  She is the longest running housewife so more power to her.  And I have respect for the fact that she’s her own breadwinner and runs a successful business, but good God can that woman go from zero to scary, over-the-top, eyes-and-veins-bulging everything in no time flat.  Her high pitch scream scares the crap out of me.  And there seemed to be A LOT of screaming this season. 

Also, her bacon vodka? Not kitchy.  Stupid.  You need to let that one go.  And PS – you peed on Tamra’s bed this year.  Maybe make a lemonade vodka and color it yellow as an ode to the pee.  That would have been funnier.

But let’s break it down.  Vicki and Tamra and once again besties and now they are exchanging friendship bracelets.  I’m sorry.  When did everyone go into the time machine that made them 12?  You’re both rich.  Buy each other a friggin Hermes cuff or something cool like that.

Gretchen is on the outs again, but this time she doesn’t seem to have a lifeline to call.  Other than Slade and the dogs, she’s a bit alone on Planet Gretchen with her Auto Tune and her constantly changing face.  Please stop.

I can’t even talk about Slade.  Throwing up in my mouth a little bit.

Something else I can’t talk about?  Two words.  Slade’s.  Brother.  Or as Gretchen calls him, “the swamp people version of Slade”.   I’m not saying she’s wrong. I’m just saying I wouldn’t have said it on camera when I was on a reality show. I’m sure everyone will be laughing at that horribly rude slam over turkey this Thanksgiving.  And by “sure” I mean I’m sure they all think you are the mean-girl, bully, Alexis said you were.

I really like Heather and Lydia. I’m not quite sure why they had that kerfuffle on Part I of the reunion.  Peace and fairy dust, ladies.  Lydia is pretty funny. I wasn’t so sure I would dig her at the beginning but she talks back to Slade and is a refreshing change to the group.

I also totally liked the return of Lauri. I don’t know if anything she said was true, but there’s definitely some bs in Vickiland and I feel like Lauri probably witnessed a lot in the early days and probably knows what she’s talking about.  Just saying.  And the fact that Brooks may or may not have been dating a young stripper.  Who? What?  More vomit in the mouth.

Parts II & III of the reunion only look to get more dramatic, interesting, spastic and angry.  I don’t remember which one of them said this in the preview, but “bring on the tears”. I couldn’t agree more.  And I really hope someone slaps Brooks.

I know.  Bowl of milk.  Table for one.  I’m a catty, catty bitch. 

2.  TheRealReal.com

If you like designer, vintage, consignment shopping this is the place.  I somehow managed to resist buying pre-Paris, because I just kept convincing myself I would spend all my money there.  But I actually exercised some level of restraint….*some*…but came home with one non-buyers remorse and am trying to buy my way to happiness again.

Yes, I know *things* don’t fill the void and that they’re just a temporary high. But it could be worse. I could be eating to fill the void.  So I’m opting to be poor with some great things vs. obese and not being able to fit out my front door, when what I should probably be doing is investing all this money in a good shrink.

But whatevs – you can’t take it with you.  What I can take with me is a fab red Louis bag, Hermes scarf and Stella dress.

3.  Holy Grail = Holy Greatness

I feel like I may have already mentioned this. Or maybe that was FB or tumblr.  Either way, I’m kind of obsessed with this song.  While I do feel like Jay Z just sort of phoned in his part (what’s with the MC Hammer and “you still alive.  Michael Jackson’s Thriller”.  It hurts.)

However, I do think Justin nailed it.  This guy can sing and perform like crazy.

And maybe it’s because I’ve been down this road once or ten times, but I think the Justin lyrics are genius. 

“And baby, it’s amazing I’m in this maze with you.

I just can’t crack your code.

One day you’re screaming you love me loud,

The next day you’re so cold.

One day you’re here. 

One day you’re there.

One day you care.

You’re so unfair.”

No body on the Mickey Mouse Club could have seen this coming.

The Jay Z part is growing on my but I always feel like a poseur singing along rapping along to him in the privacy of my own home.  I also feel extremely white girl. 

4.  Nailing It

One of the many great things about spending a week away with your girlfriends is you get to check out everyone else’s make-up and products.  And we are four girls who love a good mani/pedi. 

I’m the kind of girl who does her nails three times a week. Because I hate chips. Because I like the ritual.  Because I spy new colors and I just have to have them. 

One of the girls introduced my what she says is the best top coat on the market.  For anyone interested it’s Duri Super Fast Dry. I kid you not, her nails looked amazing for a week.  Apparently I’m the exception to the rule because my nails continue to get little chips, but they are super shiny and they dry crazy fast.  I dare say it might be better than the Sally Hansen super-fast-dry-in-the-red-bottle polish. 

And what fun is a topcoat without a great color to shine up? I currently crazy obsessed with Essie Stylenomics.  It’s a deep green that people might think is black, but I’m cool with that.  For those of you who feared the sparkle in the OPI James Bond colors, this is for you.  It’s genius!  And while I wear dark polish 24/365 this reminds me that fall is coming.

5.  The heat is off

I’m not mourning the end of summer.  I’m counting the days when fall rushes in.  The past few days have been in the 60s in the morning. I’ve actually been cold in my apartment at night (yes, I still run the a/c).  And I can walk to work without showing up a sweaty, curly-haired mess.

Fall shopping for sweaters and boots and layers is the best.  And I have my eye on a little something-something in the boot department. Just need to stop TheRealReal.com addiction for a bit.

And fall means the return of TV shows.  And leaves changing colors.  And crisp air.  And the best magazine month of the entire year. 

I’m gathering my September issues for what I hope is a great, lazy reading-a-thon.  With the windows open.  And the breeze blowing in.

Let’s hope I didn’t just jinx it!  If I did, sorry about that. Like I said, I’m kind of a bitch!

Back at it....and here to stay!

So yes I’ve been off the map lately.  And I could make up a laundry list of reasons why, but I’m not so sure anyone is all that interested. If you are – let me know.  But my guess is everyone has enough of their own stuff going on.  So here’s the short version:

"I get knocked down.

But I get up again.

You’re never gonna keep me down."

Forgive me for that.  Sadder yet, it’s not the first time I’ve quoted it here, but dammit if it isn’t catchy.  

Moving on.

So I’m up again and getting caught up.  Trying to get back to things that make me happy and finding myself with a whole new bucket of obsession and lusts (of the shopping variety).  And there’s no better time to indulge than during a deliciously long holiday weekend. 

Punk!  Chaos to Couture:

So excited to see the Punk: Chaos to Couture exhibit at the Met, which was amazing on so many levels.  For one, I’m obsessed with the costume exhibits and being able to be that close to some of the most amazing designs – the Elizabeth Hurley safety pin Versace dress, the McQueen graffiti dress and some of the original Vivian Westwood and Malcolm McClaren designs from the 70s and 80s was just amazing.

I’m a child of the 80s who listened to Adam Ant and Blondie, but had no idea what punk rock was or what all was going on.  (I was a kid. I wasn’t supposed to.)  So to see the actual t-shirts Adam Ant wore on stage?  Ahh-may-zing! 

For the record I probably would have made a horrible punk, being all high-maintenance, but I embraced my Doc Martens in college and totally loved seeing the history and evolution of the exhibit.  Total appreciation for it.   Though maybe not for the designs made out of plastic grocery bags, but tomato, tomatho. 

Princesses Long Island:

If you haven’t already….if you’ve hesitated….if it looks like another throwaway reality show, let me assure you, you will not regret watching this show.

Bravo’s latest and greatest continues to suck me in and give me so much to be grateful for.  Now sure, there are times, when I wish my parents were loaded and I didn’t have to grind away at a day job.  And I’d also be lying if I said I wasn’t a little jealous that the most parental-dependent of the group dropped almost $6K on shoes and charged it all to her dad’s credit card.  I’d rather have $6K in clothes or purses, but you get the picture.  But then I think I’d rather have my own money to drop on things.

They all still live with their parents, with the exception of one girl who moved to NYC and works and supports herself.  This should not be unusual mind you, but the whole premise of the show is that some Long Island girls live with their parents until they get engaged.  Though they live with the parents until the wedding night.  And while I suppose there is some practicality to this plan (they must save a lot of money), I’d have to believe it might stunt your emotional and mental growth.  And it might be the reason these girls have spouted gems like these:

• Interventioning me
• Independament woman
• Spontanuity

These are not typos.  This is how they talk. And I’d like to thank them for that.

Then there’s the girl who drinks way too much.  We all know that girl.  There was probably a night or two when we each were that girl.  Though I never peddled Adderall to my friends at 3 a.m. at a post-party.  (To be clear, I’ve never peddled or taken Adderall at any point in the day or night.  Even I have limits.  Or smarts.  It could go either way on this decision.)  But watching this girl drink her face off in one scene after another makes me feel like even my bad choices are good choices.

And sometimes a photo does more than words ever could

It’s on right now.  Just put on Bravo already!

Twitter:

I’ve had a love/hate/struggle with getting on this bandwagon five years too late. I signed up for it in my “I need to be building my writing platform and this is a great place to start” phase.  And without even posting a single tweet I’ve managed to gain three whole followers.  (Thanks, friends!  You know who you are.)

But the more time I spend wasting away doing valuable research and surfing on the internet, I realize I need to get on board.  For one, some of my favorite authors and bloggers and general people of interest and friends are on there.  For two, it could be fun.  And for three, I need to be building my writing platform and this is a great place to start.

My hope is that it’s easy to maintain, but if I can text all day surely I can string together a sentence or two online.

Tweet!  Tweet! 

eBay:

I have managed to get back on the eBay bandwagon.  Partially because I’ve been watching so much Resale Royalty (more on that later) and partially because my closet it packed with things I don’t wear, don’t like or bought in the throes of bad judgment and I need to make space for the new.  And if the old is going out I might as well make a few bucks on it.

I’ve got a dozen listings cooking and so far have cleared ~$50.  Not a windfall, but Rome wasn’t built in a day. It’s a game. It’s luck.  It’s a time suck.  But I’m in it to win it. 

And maybe, hopefully (though I doubt it) I’ll think twice before I buy something so-so.  The reason I know I will never learn is that I have a jacket to return but I’ve managed to lose the receipt and now am probably going to get stuck with a cheapie store credit.  By the only vices I have left are shopping and Diet Coke so cut me some slack. 

The Legacy:

I’m knee deep in revisions and rewrites.  I’ve given in to way too many distractions (and a few naps) but I made some great progress this weekend.  My goal was to get it out pre-Paris…..less than three weeks and counting…..but I don’t want to rush myself.

I also know I can’t live in this book forever.  Eventually I’m going to have to send it back out and start on the next.  I really don’t want to be one of those people who spends twenty years working on one book that never sees the light of day. Sure part of the pleasure is in the process, but it’s also in starting something new.  So here’s to it and from it and to it again.

I’m also all caught up on The Killing, tonight’s episode aside and have to say it’s so damn good.  I won’t talk plot because I don’t want to be one of those spoiler people, but it definitely trumps the first season (particularly, Part II of Season 1).  Watch this too.  You won’t regret it.  (But if you struggle with TV violence skip it.  Pitch Perfect is practically playing on repeat on HBO and that’s more feel good.  I’ve literally seen it 20 times in the past 2 weeks.  I can feel the shame raining down on me.)

Time to wind down with TV.  I’ll have a much better reality update to come.  It’s good to be back!

PS - This is what NYC looked like on July 4th.  I'm literally standing in what is usually the middle of traffic on Park Avenue.  I love the city when everyone else leaves it!

Manic Monday - Vault Open? Vault Closed?

Every once in a while I have a bit of buyer’s remorse that I went all “hey, it’s me” with this blog because that means I can’t always say what I really, really want to say.  And yeah, I know, I can do whatever I want. It’s a free country.  Blah-di-di-blah-blah-blah.  But as soon as I let loose and let it all hang out…that’s when the buyer’s remorse might kick in. 

Like if I wrote here what I’d say in text rant about my craptastic day and the people who made it that way. What I’d verbally vomit between glasses of wine and asking our lovely waitress “can we get some more chips?”.  What I’d scream at the TV when I watch bad good reality TV or E! or Girls or whatever else I’m obsessing with these days.  What last brought me to tears. (It’s more embarrassing that you’d even think. But shockingly it wasn’t the Lifetime movie Restless Virgins that I DVR’d and then watched in it’s horrid entirety.  That actually made me laugh.  And filled me with a bit of rage that crap like that gets made into a movie and I’m still striving to find an agent for what I think is far better writing in my book.  But I’m obvi totally biased.)  And of course if I said some of the thing that crossed my mind on a daily basis…this might get upgrade to a “not suitable for children” rating. 

But don’t get me wrong.  I’m still a bucket full of honest here.  Swear.  But some days it’s more like the cautious honesty you have with people you work with or people you just don’t want to invite inside the vault.  Not yet at least.  They get the honesty…but they don’t get the full disclosure.  Lest they think you were selfish or immature or insensitive or crazy or that you have bad taste in TV or that you rage too much on the weekend or that you are nightmare in relationships or that you should spend more time (or maybe less time) with your family.  That you whine and bitch and complain and judge and are a pushover or not opinionated enough or have way, way, way too many opinions.

And sure at the ripe old age of now, maybe I shouldn’t care.  And trust me when I say it’s not that I care.  But if we’ve learned anything from celeb Twitter accounts….you can’t always unring the bell.  And you can’t always unsee things. (Ugh. I’m back to that damn Bieber-is-shirtless-in-the-hospital image again. Damn you J.B.  And the cherry on top? You have a freak-out at the paparazzi. You’re giving them what they want.  And I know you have all sorts of weird pressure and you’re still a freaking tween living in a fake reality.  But to paraphrase some random person who I came across while surfing the US Weekly site in a daze this weekend- Bieber is one shaved head and umbrella away from a Britney 2007.  Cautionary tale, J.B.  Trust.  I’m not all kinds of honest here, but this is lots of honest.

Here comes the Libra.  You can’t unring that Bieber bell.  But I’m also a girl who likes to ring her bell.  Do we need balance?  Or are we just uber-complicated chicks?  Both, of course.

So the vault is open.  A bit.  I’m just going to be careful about what I let out.  And maybe change the faces and places to protect the innocent.  (Or rather not-so-innocent because they always make for more interesting stories anyway.)

Unfortunately sometimes I’m a big old sieve.  (Goalie!  Sieve!  Goalie!  Sieve!)  And it’s not always drinking thinking, so I really really have no one to blame but myself.   Like the other day at work when I didn’t even feel a slight twinge of shame when I not only admitted that I know what The Lying Game is, but in an effort to explain how horrible of a show it is I actually revealed that I’ve seen every episode since it premiered…and PS – we’re in Season 3 now….and not even Cordelia being on it can justify this Buffy 4-Eva fan watching it.  But I just can’t stop talking about it.  Even though the people I’m talking to are looking at me with wide eyes and a look that absolutely says they are embarrassed for me.  And then I tell them why I think Ethan is better than Thayer (officially worst teen soap name ever by-the-by).  Sigh.  I know.  Shame. 

But I’m cool with it.  Some people get very little out of me….some people get just enough to know who I am….and the rest….well, sorry you get the whole Kukla Fran and Caboodle.  If you know me at all, this is not a shocker.  If you don’t so much know me then apologies in advance.  Because here’s my Catch-22.

In order to get everything that’s in my head - and blocking all that creativity that I need to pour into my novel writing - I need to write it all down and get it out.   Stat. (Especially since the Writer’s Digest Conference is 3 weeks away and I don’t think I’ll have a new manuscript to pitch. But still going to be worth it.  Inspiration.  Motivation.  The kick in the ass I need.)  So I need to purge all the voices in my head…but not “voices” in a Sybil way….just in a I-have-a-lot-on-my-mind-that’s-kind-of-totally-weighing-me-down way.  And this is one of the places it’s going to happen. 

Apologies again for that about to happen.  But not just yet.  Because it’s Monday night and my brain is fried. And not only am I voluntarily watching 90210 (which no shocker here…is ending after this season.  RIP.   How dare you rival a classic?) I also watched the latest RHOBH.  And oddly Camille and Brandi make a cameo on 90210.  This is turning into a very odd/full circle kind of a night. 

And in something related to nothing, watching them in Paris is making me so So SO excited to go back.  So every time the cray cray from work (and life) starts to bleed into my brain I think about the light at the end of the tunnel. PARIS!  And I think about the wine…and the cheese…and the adventure we’re going to have…and the chocolate…and the scenery….and the great escape….and summertime pictures to balance out my November pictures from my last trip….and hopefully, maybe, if I’m lucky baby gets a brand new bag! 

I’m also so overtired and delusional that I got all choked up when Mauricio was on the bridge with Kyle and locked their lock and threw away the key.  But that’s a lusty crush for another day.  And here’s my other full circle moment….I don’t know why the hell Kyle’s store has the tagline “by Alene Too”.  But since I’m an Alene then I’m guessing it can be Mauricio and Alene TOO? 

In the words of Lisa Vanderpump.  “BOOM!”

And this song is for no other reason than that it's amazing.  And why it's in my head is a story for another day!

Manic Monday: No Laundry But I'll Always Have Paris

It’s not just Manic Monday here.  It’s more like Manic Weekday.  And I’m really, truly starting to believe that it may not end.  Not anytime soon.  Maybe not ever.  Which I know is crazy.  Everything comes to an end eventually, right?  Or at least they say all good things do.  “They”.  (Who are the ladies?  We are the ladies.)  So if all good things…then all bad things must come to an end. It’s the what goes up must come down.

Luckily I found some calm this weekend.  Much needed.  Long overdue.  Inhale.  Exhale.  TV.  DVR. FreeShowtimeandpaysforitselfHBObecauseGirlsisamazing.  And fun.  A nap.  Read up on the Writers Digest Conference in April.  Have to pull the trigger on that one.  Spent the weekend checking some things off the list.

What I didn’t do is the laundry.  Which is currently taunting me.  Haunting me.  But I don’t have the energy to go downstairs and face the fact that the machines might be taken.  And then I have to roll it all back up.  (Yes.  I have a folding, rolling cart.  People envy it.  I see people bring their laundry down in trash bags.  I mean not for nothing.  Respect your stuff, even when it’s dirty. 

What I really wish is that I didn’t have to roll it downstairs because I magically will have a washer/dryer in my apartment.  It doesn’t sound like the biggest wish list item…or maybe it’s big, but not the most popular…but it’s mine.  I also realize the reality of the situation.  That as long as I continue to live in NYC it will never happen for me.

It will fall into the list of things that will never happen for me.  (Probably.  Most likely.  Never ever.)  Like walking the Red Carpet in Chanel.  Climbing some major mountain.  (Though in all fairness I have no interest in that.)  Being on Oprah’s Next Chapter (which I’m watching only because Drew Barrymore is on it and she’s is by far one of the most amazing ladies out there.  And I would love to hang with her for a day because I feel like she’d be so damn cool.  Though that happening…probably also not going to happen for me.)  And chances are I won’t get to make out with Bradley Cooper.  And b-t-w that’s Bradley Cooper the actor.  Not just some guy named Bradley Cooper.  Which I feel the need to clarify because I met Mariano Rivero today.  But not the-greatest-closer-in-baseball.  The security guard on Park Avenue.  Who I asked if he got great dinner reservations over the phone.  He found zero humor in me. 

 

Moving on….I’m in procrastination mode.  I need to face the 20-page refinance document that’s awaiting me.  Which means a credit check. Which means I should pay my bills first so my secret shopping shame isn’t as blatant.

Manic Monday…beginning of Manic Weekday.  And so it begins…..

Work is hard.  Non-work life is hard.  But sometimes in that good way.  And where the reward for the hard work is in my hands.  Case in point.  Booked the tickets to Paris.  I don’t even have words for how excited I am for this trip.  Had a delicious first trip and have been ready to go back ever since.  And I’m going to obsess about it for months to come.  Consider yourselves warned!

Five For Friday

It's been a long week.  Having Monday off is great. Yet oddly, in some ways, that seems to make Tuesday - Friday that much worse.  Which kind of takes the fun out of having Monday off.  Not quite a chicken and an egg situation, but just one of those things, that takes up too much space in my mind.

And on top of that, I'm going to be that girl, who chooses to live on the east coast, and who gets all "wah....boo....ugh....wtf....blah.....bleck.....bitch.....moan....bitch" because it's cold and windy and snowy.  In January.

And I have to wear mittens and hats and two scarves and lots of layers and bought new snow boots.  (which btw are so warm and fuzzy)  But the cold!  The bone-chilling, face-hurting, I-said-brrrrrrr!-it's-cold-in-here kind of cold.

I know.  DUH!  That's what happens in January.  It's called winter.  It's been going on for decades.  It's the four seasons.  This is not a fluke of Mother Nature.  This is just how the world turns.  (which, btw, I miss that soap...Craig and Sierra and Holden and Lily rocked!).

But, baby, it's like really, really cold outside.  And the turning of the world has knocked me on my ass this week.  So before I crawl under the covers, here's the five things I can muster, because no matter how busy or tired or cold I am....I'm trying my best to keep on track here.  Writers write.

#1: 

I've been this before and it popped up on my tumblr feed tonight.  Sometimes I feel like the universe is sending me a message and the timing is right.

#2:

The universe also deals me some messages I don't want.  But that's the balance this Libra comes to expect.  And strives for.  I'm in the self-imposed spend freeze just because.  It's like eating well after a stint of eating like crap.  Balance.  But then I found this dress I've been lusting on ebay.  In my size.  And I was so close.  (Or maybe not, because I was only willing to pay so much for an "excellent used condition" dress.)  But my competition was willing to keep going.  And I lost.

That's the universe telling me that Hello!  You are on a spending freeze!  And your friendly universe here is not going to let you break it.  No eBay wins for you!

(grumble....curse....rats....that sucks)

And a few hours later the moment of clarity (or the rationalization).  That dress was not my fate.


#3:

SAG Awards on Sunday.  Red Carpet.  Fashion.  Awards.  Eventual tears over the acceptance speeches I'm sure.  Oh how I love awards season.  Cannot wait to see who they're wearing.  And who wins.  Kind of at a loss for why Lena Dunham isn't at this party, but that's my obsession talking.  Least there's Jon Hamm to look forward to.  (yes, please)

Also fairly certain I need to work that free Showtime and start watching Homeland because  they win everything.  And apparently it's great.  Stay tuned.

#4:

The conversation is underway.  For Paris.  In the summer.  This may trump the Lean obsession for now. I can't wait to go back.  Time to lock in some dates!!!!

#5:

I didn’t actually get to see the Matt Damon takeover of Jimmy Kimmel last night but I’ve seen enough clips to get the sense it was pretty damn funny.  And that of course made me think of this video, which I still think is some total comedy genius. It also doubles as my song.  BAM!