Writers Write. The End. But Also the Beginning....

I’m still coming off the whirlwind high of this weekend’s Writers Digest Conference.  It was exhausting and exhilarating and inspiring and interesting and overwhelming and makes me want to write my ass off and also makes me feel like I’ve wasted so much time not writing and squandered away too many days watching reruns of Murder, She Wrote and Castle and convincing myself it’s all in the name of research.  Or I lose countless time trying to find a good celeb haircut picture to bring to my new hairdresser on Saturday so I don’t come out looking like crap because I can’t articulate how I want to look even at this stage in my life. 

So now my head is spinning with all the things I want to do….I need to do:

• Start voraciously editing “The Legacy”.
• And at the same time read the fabulous new book I bought, “Blueprint Your Bestseller” by Stuart Horowitz, to learn how to edit and revise my way to success. 
• Actually use my Twitter account that I’ve never posted one character to, never mind 140 characters. 
• It goes without saying that I need to start following people on Twitter to get them to follow me and build my platform (which was often looked at as a 4-letter word this weekend) so when the time comes, more than friends and family will be interested in buying my book (knock on wood!!!).
• Figure out a better way to use Facebook.
• And figure out how to promote this blog. 
• Which means create more blog content so my five followers have something to read.  (And if you’re one of those five, tell your friends…repost me…spread the good word….please!!!!!!!  I’m only half kidding btw.  By which I mean not even kidding at all.)
• Read my Donald Maass books.  (His session was amazing!!!)
• Diversify.  Word is that’s the key.  You need to do more than books.  Or just articles.  Or just. one. thing.
• So now I have to research websites and brainstorm and write some more.

And on and on it goes. I don’t even know where to begin, but I’m so anxious to start going, but here I am, kind of frozen with all my choices.  My head is literally spinning.

But what it all boils down to is this – writers write.  It’s that simple.  It’s like eating well and working out will help get you and keep you in shape.  Duh!  We get it.  We know it.  But it’s still one of the hardest things for us to do.  I somehow procrastinate from the things I do want to do deep down...that I like to do.  (Though some days I do really hate running.  Like a lot.)  

So that of course begs the question of why do I sometimes avoid the one thing I love.  That I say I love.  That I want to do.  To write.  It's what it's all about.  

But here's the thing.  Writers write.

And I’ll keep saying it over and over.  Writing it over and over.  Reminding myself over and over. 

WRITERS WRITE.

One of the last speakers I saw yesterday told us to take a week…let it all sink in…don’t try to get it all done in the next few hours or next few days, which is of course the natural instinct. I was all gangbusters that I would do Camp NaNoWriMo in April, which is another chance to knock out 50,000 words and reboot my writing…looks like I’ll be waiting for the July Camp, seeing as how it’s April 8^th and while I did actually get some ideas down over the course of the weekend, I’m definitely not in a 50,000 word state of mind.

So for now, I’m reading over my notes.  Being pretty amazed by it all.  Letting my mind run wild. 

And channeling the advice of all the amazing people I met and saw this weekend:

• Write to quota.  Commit to a certain number of words, not hours, a week.
• Embrace the weirdness.
• We resist the parts of our book that are weakest. Confront them and work on them.
• Embrace patience.
• Or its cousin, stubbornness.
• Write through the block.
• Write without fear.
• Go to the bookstore – the cathedral of books.  And pray.
• Become part of a writing community.
• Writers write.

I could go on and on. If I could transcribe Adriana Trigiani and Tayari Jones’s entire speeches I would.  But instead I’ll leave you with this…whether you’re a writer or not, I hope it resonates in some way:

“The energy you put out there is the energy you get back…Once you commit to lighting your passion, doors will open for you.” – T.J.

“You’re not defeated.  You just haven’t been found yet.  Persist.” – A.T.

This Is A Call

“Every calling is great when greatly pursued.” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

It’s me. The one who keeps talking to you about that thing. That project. That possibility.

I know you think you couldn’t be the one for the job, but honestly, if you weren’t the one for the job, I wouldn’t have come to you with it.

I wouldn’t have come knocking at the door of your mind. I wouldn’t have come into your dreams, into your imagination, into your heart.

I wouldn’t have made it so compelling to think about me.

I wouldn’t have planted in you the frustration with what is.

I wouldn’t have planted in you the vision of what could be.

You say you want more meaning, more adventure, and to have a greater impact.

I’m offering you all of that, but you keep telling me I’m silly, unrealistic, too big, when here I am, ready to give you the greatest adventure of your life.

I don’t take it personally, but I do weep about it.

I weep for the joy you are missing out on. I weep because you aren’t getting to witness your immense strength and brilliance. I weep for what the world is missing out on too.

When I took this job, they told me much of it would be waiting. Waiting on you.

I want to make sure you know, I’m here, close as breath, waiting. I’m waiting for you to say yes.

We can do this. Together, we can do this thing.

It’s true, part of my job is creating challenges and dark moments along the way—but only enough of them to teach you the most beautiful lessons you’ll ever learn.

I need you. Your hands. Your heart. Your mind. Your circumstances. Your strengths. Your weaknesses. Your wounds. Your wit. Your tale.

I need you, just as you are.

Say yes?

Love,

Your Calling

This gem came to me exactly when I needed it.  More than halfway through NaNo and less than halfway to 50K words and I was filled with the fear that I wouldn't get it done.  That I didn't have it in me.  

And then this came, by way of an email from an amazing friend who always sends the most inspirational emails (even when she doesn't know how desperately I need the inspiration... the perspective...the reminders of what it's all about).  And it was the virtual and literal kick in the ass I needed to get my ass in gear.

And I'm so So SO happy to brag about the fact that I officially finished 2012's National Novel Writing Month n time and just barely over word count (but still OVER!) - 30 days - 51,531 words!!!!  I'm proud of me and not ashamed to say it!

I'm not just a NaNo Participant.  I'm an official WINNER!!!!!!!!

And I now have a panster mystery with what I think is some strong potential. (For now I'll be referring to it by the title's acronym FWOFB....stick around if you want to find out what it's really called! How's that for a teaser???) 

And I'm really excited about it.  And while I did take the weekend to decompress and sleep and relax and be brain dead, I'll back back with every hope and every intention of answering the call and getting me over the finish line also known as "The End".

Less is More. But More is More Too….

So I was reading a blog post the other day about how to write good blog posts.   Yes.  I realize that may sound silly that I'm blogging about reading about how to blog.  And while  some might call it procrastination...and by some I mean (so)ME...I prefer to think of this as working on my craft.  

Any-excuse-for-slacking….it was all about how you should write more frequent, but shorter posts to connect with readers.  To keep giving them constant updates. Frequent posts.  Something to come back for and look forward to count on.  And maybe add some videos.  And pictures. Because presumably our trusted reader has the attention span of a gnat and they want a less-wordy picturey kind of blog like some 3-year old would like.  (Sidebar....isn't that why people go to Pintrest, which bee-tee-dubs I am obsessed with.)

One of the many books that shows up when you Google
"books for 3-year olds".  Not going to lie...love a book
about dust bunnies.  Hysterical!

But back to the average 3-year old...I guess my readers may all be looking for this... (In my defense...I don’t have children or really know what developmental stage they are at by the age of 3, so apologies if I’ve offended any parents who are reading this and are all, “Uh, not for nothing, but my kids are reading Faulker...in French...by the age of three.”  Forgive me.  I raise plants.  By which I mean  have a few and keep them alive.  Barely.

But the less is more/more is more blogging goal is sort of like the experts who advise brief but frequent workouts.  How 20 minutes at the gym or with your workout DVD or anything not resembling lying on the couch is better than nothing.  And ever since the new job with the earlier start time and crosstown commute kicked in, I’ve had to adjust the morning gym time and while I’m slowly getting back on track with frequency, I think it’s time to switch it up and get a little more efficient with my time.  The life on the plateau isn’t a good one.  

So, less is more/more is more is the goal at the gym and it brings me to applying that same goal to right here, right now.  

But the problem is this. I can be a true feast or famine girl.  I can homebody and hibernate like a champ and then go out four nights in a row and barely have a moment to breathe.  I will have weeks where I crank out 14-hour work days. And then weekends where I won’t turn on the work computer.  Weeks where I won’t blog a single damn word and weeks when I write faithfully.  And even if it doesn’t all make it online doesn’t mean it’s not happening. 

Like with the morning gym, the getting out of bed before 5:30….not always an easy feat.  Espeically in the cold and dark winter. But once I’m up, I’m golden.  Most of the time. Same with writing.  Getting my butt in the chair can be a chore.  But sometimes, hopefully, once I get going I keep going.  

Don’t get me wrong…I get the block and will ramble on and on and cheat and start writing song lyrics or quotes just to write something and try to distract my brain into forgetting I’m blocked or writing total crap (kind of like swallowing handfuls of sugar to distract your mind from the hiccups to make them stop!).  Sometime it works and as much I try to be short and sweet, anyone who has been around me after two drinks (and sometimes before any drinks if I’m feeling that certain kismet comfort with you) I will go on and on.  And on.  I can chitter-chat like a champ.  And the blog becomes a ramble and not a quick hit.

That said, in the interest of starting over and rebooting my everything, I’m trying to discipline myself into more frequent and much shorter posts.  (Not working yet.)  But considering I can barely bang out two a month with my current…ahem… “system”…I’m pretty much open to anything.  Because, life is about to get in the way and I’m going to have to get all Sophie’s Choice again about how I spend my time. 

First up, this is going to kick in, in just a few short days:

 50,000 words in 30 days.  Been there. Done that. But can lighting strike twice?  (It’s actually my third charming time, but the first time I will admit I threw in the towel.  Rookie.)

I signed back up today and am committed to doing NaNoWriMo this year. And would highly HIGHLY recommend it to any writer out there who hasn’t given it a go. It’s an incredibly supportive, amazing online environment and a pretty cool thing to be a part of.  I’m up for the challenge. To giving it my all.  To hoping that it kick starts everything in my imagination and my heart and my head and GETS ME GOING.

I’ve been a raging writing slacker.  For the most part, the most I’ve managed is texting and some emails.  And on a few occasions, exercising my inner Papa with some of this:

A.k.a. – Write Honestly.  

Though not necessarily write anything I’d want anyone to see. 

And I’ve written some scattered lines on the back of envelopes and Post-Its.  And talked through ideas in my head about how to change…up the ante…bring the action forward…for The Legacy (you are still in my head and heart and I’m still totally confident there is a story in there that just needs another good flushing out and I just got two new books to help me improve on you…..and not just procrastinate from writing….working on my craft, dammit!!!)

So I’m trying.

But the moments I’m not working (to live) I have lost my desire to live to work on the passion (write).  It feels as pathetic as it probably sounds to abandon the life goal because other things got in the way.  Because there are times when all I want to do is veg and be mindless and watch less-than-challenging stuff on TV and go buy apples and English muffins from the fabulous so-close-to-home-I’m-dying Whole Foods and have super long leisurely breakfasts where I can read the whole paper and spend hours talking on the phone catching up with oldest and bestest friends and taking naps and shopping and doing anything and everything (procrastinating…dammit…that’s totally what I’m doing and I know it.  Own it.) that just lets me be. That lets me breathe easy.  That sometimes lets me be a slug.

I’ll admit it.  Sometimes I don’t want to work hard.  I want to take it easy. I want my day to feel easy. I want to escape. Judge me if you want. Call me lazy.  (or “maybe”).  But, whatever. I’m cool with it.  Surely I can't be the only one?  Tell me I'm not the only one.

So that’s kind of what I’m doing.  Bracing for the drama that may (hope not) unfold with this stupid hurricane and just have a day for me me me about me me me.  And it feels pretty damn great!

Stream from Netflix immediately and then
tune into Season 2 which is in progress.
So. Damn.  Good.

I’ve been catching up on some paperwork (drudge).  Some phone calls.  And some much-needed-on-a-cloudy-Saturday napping in between catching up on TV (critical).  And while I could (and at a later date will) go on about how great Scandal is (just discovered!) and I’m sorry, but how not-so-great Gossip Girl is (Rufus and fake Charlie….COME ON!  Chuck and Blair and happily ever after and end the show. Now.  Done.), I’m going to devote my final thoughts to the ridiculous trend of having TV characters plummet off balconies as a ploy to kill them off….or at least sideline them for a spell.

First up….my thanks to Chelsea Handler who showed a clip from 90210.  You may be surprised to hear that 1- this remake is still on and 2-I’m *not* actually watching it, and it was pretty easy to understand why.  Liam’s crazy girlfriend was blackmailing him into marrying her or some nonsense.  Last I watched he slept with Silver who had some fatal illness or another, but looks like their fairytale didn’t end well.  Moving on, in this particular scene, Liam and Crazy are fighting on the balcony of their posh beach house which makes no sense seeing as how Liam used to be kind of poor or in debt or something, but I’m getting hung up on the details as usu.  

LOL!  So bad.

Now somehow Crazy manages to lose her footing and fall backwards off the balcony.  

Lands flat on her back on the beach below. 

And then get swept away by a wave.  

Not.  Even. Kidding.  

Worst breakup scene ever.  Just when I thought Steve’s crazy-ass girlfriend, Laura, trying to commit suicide on the stage of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, while Brenda stood by crying and begrudgingly saying, “Sure, Laura, you be can play Maggie the Cat too.  Or maybe we can take turns playing her.  You can have the Wednesday matinee.  Just don't hang yourself in front of me because I'm still having issues dealing with Dylan dumping me for Kelly."  We all know no body puts Brenda in a corner.  They just send her to London when she's bad in real life.  Sigh.  Love her.  Mean it.

But back to the point (too late)….Crazy gets washed away by the tide and Liam just stands there watching. Solved his blackmail problem, I guess.  And could probably get back with Silver.  Now there's a lining for you.  

And while I expect this kind of crap from 90210 (the original and Version 2.0) I do not expect such nonsense from an intelligent, well-written, OMG of a show.  But I have to say, when Amanda fell off the giant staircase balcony to the COLD. HARD. MARBLE. FLOOR. at Greyson manor, and had blood hemorrhaging from her head, but still managed to take her earwig out to give to Emily…..then tell her to save the baby….and birth a baby before being put into a medically induced coma and apparently not even break a bone, never mind DIE…..I acutally yelled at my TV like was watching the Yankees blow a 10-game lead in the AL East.    

And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…I can suspend disbelief like no body’s business, but COME ON Revenge.  You can do better.

I’m banking on some redemption next week. I’m hoping to no end that Daniel steps up and screws over Ashley and his father and comes out strong and gets back with Emily. But that’s just me looking for the happy ending. 

But more on that later….I've gone on long enough.  But what can I say? I’m pushing 5’10” and am was a total mean girl.  The short and sweet just isn’t me.   

Yet oddly enough, this song totally appeals to me....

Also have red lipstick envy.  

Looking for the life imbalance!

I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard people say how all they want is work/life balance.  But if it’s a balance….on a day-to-day work week basis, then what you’re saying is equal time at work and life. Which would mean 12 hours of work.  12 hours of life.  And, call me crazy (been called worse!) but I’m looking for waaaaaaay more LIFE.  I’m looking for the imbalance.  And for the scales to tip to life.

I’m barely two months into the new job and I have say I’m loving it.  Now I can’t actually talk about it much because that’s just how it is, which I feel like that kind of makes me sound like I have some really cool Secret Agent life, but I don’t.  I’m definitely not that cool.  But if I was would I really tell you?  Don’t think so.  So maybe I am.  So not.

Alas…the new not-as-cool-as-being-Sidney-Bristow-job is totally crazy and busy and running around and meeting tons of people and random travelling and working hard and days going by in a blink and chaos and figuring stuff out and breaking it down and building it up and digging into all sorts of stuff. It’s wonderful and exhausting and challenging and as with any new job sucking a lot of time out of my life.  But isn’t it always that way?  But again…not complaining….too much! 

And happy work makes me want to go out more and let the happiness continue.  And I’ve made some fab work friends that I like to go out with. And old work friends. (Don’t miss the job, but man how I miss a few of the people!)  And some nights I just want to walk home and decompress and be all about me. (I’m very good at that.)  But the scales are tipping back and forth….too much work….too much play….never enough housework…..God, isn’t *that* an ugly word that makes me sound like a driveling old lady….staying home in my muumuu to do some housework.  More like studiowork, but no lie….sometimes keeping not-quite-six-hundred-square-feet clean….also a challenge.  Doesn’t help that my closet door is still hanging my a thread….all that work….closet door is literally out of balance.

So how do you keep it all straight? How do you have a career that demands so much of you and still give all you can to your life?  Still feed all the other things that make you happy….that make you tick….that might even make you crazy….if you’re spending all that time clucking away at work. Or bringing work home.  

When I was you and naïve I used to be so excited to borrow our office laptop and BRING WORK HOME. It was like I’d finally made it.  Like I was finally important enough to be one of those people who was crucial to the operations that I had so much work to do I actually took it with me. Kind of like when I got a beeper.  I really thought I was the shit.  But every time I went off I had to find a payphone. LOL. That was fun at a bar at 1 a.m. on a Friday night.  I was so awful when I was on call in those days.

And these days…you guessed it….looking for the balance.  I want to write more. I want to be out and about more. The costume exhibit is almost over again at the Met and there’s no way I’m waiting until the last weekend to go like I did last year with McQueen.  So worth it, but EPIC 90 minutes in line.  That wasn’t easy.  And I want to see my peeps more.  And have downtime. And Bliss time.  And moi time.  And catch up on TV (I STILL need to wax on about that). And finish the book on my nightstand which I have dusted off since last I wrote and have less than 100 pages to go, but must keep reading to get myself ready for the new Emily Giffin next Tuesday.  CAN’T.  WAIT.

So for now….life….work….work….little life….work….work conference for two days….hopefully little more life.  We’ll see how it all shakes out.  Total Libra…perpetually looking for that balance in everything I do.  And when I’m out of balance I do get thrown and don’t always handle it great….I don’t do the extremes well….though okay, so maybe that’s a bit of a social white lie….I can do extremes.  It’s more when I don’t have time to decompress or figure out how to balance (there’s that damn word again) the stress or find an outlet for it that I go kind of bonkers.  That I probably become less fun to be around. Or if I’m stressed and ranting (and probably drinking) I can sometimes be fun to be around.  Maybe?  Yes?  No?  Perhaps I just think I’m fun.  Anyone?  Bueller? 

I’m rambling. As usual.  

So, for anyone keeping up with my writing life….when I'm having the time of MY life.....

(and yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know....I'm plugging Green Day and BJA and all that, but it's my blog and I love this song!)

So....the writing life.....I am about 76K words into the summary of The Legacy (out of 95K words…so that’s some serious progress.)  I’ve identifying some holes.  Coming up with some new ideas. Decided some things that need to be cut.  Where it’s just kind of snoozy.  And where I’m actually pretty proud of what I’ve written. 

But I’ve also officially hit the point where I know I need to rewrite a whole chunk and I’m not sure what the new storyline will be so I’m road blocked/writers blocked.  But when I can shift the balance back to writing life, I’m going to try to push through and keep on going.  As soon as I finish my work from work.  And rebook the appointment at Bliss I cancelled because I don’t have to go.  And call the contractor about my closet.  And vacuum.  And probably about ten other things that I can’t even think of because I’m fried.

Cheers to imbalance!  In the direction of LIFE!

....in a nutshell....