So bad it's good.....the magic of real-crapity TV!

After a whole season of OC Housewives and a three-part reunion, I must admit it was all worth it.  I can’t possibly capture a whole season in one post, but as always they saved the best for last which made all hours I devoted to this show so very worth it:

Andy Cohen’s saddle shoes.  Just when I thought he couldn’t get any better. 

Brianna verbally kicking the crap out of Brooks.  She annihilated him with words and left him blubbering and stumbling and tripping over his words.  Creeper.  Freaker.  I’m 100% Team Brianna on this one.  Finally someone calling him out on two years of what everyone else wanted to say.  I can't bring myself to go into gross detail. Favorite line – “he’s the only ‘ick’ in my life!”. 

And then Vicky and Brooks break up in the lamest way.  On national TV.  He loves her enough to let her go.  Huh? What?  Maybe if he loved her he wouldn’t treat her daughter like crap and lie and disrespect her family.  Can we roll Michael out to chime in on this?  Where did he go?  Does anyone want to take bets on the return of Don?

Brooks who?  We heart booze!

And PS – if the love of my life dumped me on a couch….while being filmed….in front of all of my friends….for a reality show reunion….I’d probably melt into a pool of my own tears and then crawl off stage to die.  I mean I know we’re watching a reality show here, but I’m starting to think some of this stuff is staged….

Love that Tamra can’t get far enough away from Brooks on the couch and looks so uncomfortably horrified.  She needs the holy water from her bachelorette party that Heather was spraying on the strippers in Cabo.

Andy calling Gretchen out on not being able to pronounce “something”.  In Planet Gretchen it’s pronounced “sunting”. 

Lydia explaining that the reason she doesn’t do her own laundry is not because she doesn’t know how, but because she doesn’t have to.  Bravo!  (no pun intended)  There are many days when I wish I had someone else to do my laundry.  But then I realize I would skeeve having a stranger touch my stuff.  Or possibly even having someone I do know touch my stuff.  Except my mom.  Just being honest.

Alexis claims poor editing made her hubby look like a d. bag.  I'm sure he's really quite funny and supportive when no one is looking.  And not name-dropping or bragging about the price of his scarf.  Or perhaps it was your bully-inspired Xanax scrip that makes him seem less d. baggy.  I get it.  The world is a much happier place when Xanax is involved.

Andy’s facial expressions throughout the entire show.  I cannot get enough of him.  He’s such a riot.  And unrelated to RH, but Gaga is going to be on WWHL in a few weeks.  So ahh-may-zing!!

Lydia's final thought is she feels like she's been punched in the head.  And that's a wrap.

And then there’s this…..

City Girl Diaries continues to be the best-worst show on TV right now.  If that term is confusing you it’s easy….it’s the worst show I’ve watched in a long time and I can’t stop watching it which makes it the best.

How do you know it’s the worst?  Style moved their airtime from Sunday at 9 p.m. to Sunday at 12 midnight.  One small push into cancellation if you ask me.  Or perhaps they are targeting a west coast crowd?  Or perhaps it’s just good-bad.  And here’s why:

Aspiring fashion designer, Leila can’t seem to get it together. She’s just like a lot A.D.D.  So when she thinks she *might* be pregnant everything goes to hell.  She just can’t concentrate because she’s like so stressed over her maybe being preggers.  You know a good way to find out?  TAKE A TEST!  But she’d rather not and just confide in a few strategic people like her live-in BF and one of her besties (with the two moms…yeah, that happened too) and oh, the PR guy managing her maybe-career.  The PR guy that she essentially had to beg to take her back after he canned her ass years ago because she was essentially an entitled brat. Let’s see…he already thinks you’re an unfocused, unreliable, possible waste of time.  So why not miss your first deadline with him and cry and tell him you *might* be pregnant? 

Again.  Take the test.  It’s kind of easy.  Just ask Clear Blue.  Just saying.  You might want to at least rack up a false positive before you start telling people you’re worried you’re preggers.

And one last thing – if you can’t come to terms with taking the test after four weeks of waiting there’s probably some other issues you need to deal with.  Meet my friend Dee Nyle.

In the most brilliant reality show cameo that I’ve seen in a long time, the girls have a Hamptons trip and stay at the house of none other than Devorah Rose of Social Life Magazine.  If you don’t know who she is:

1. Shame on you
2. Real Housewives of NY – Season 1.  She put Bethenny on the cover and whined her way through an episode.
3. NYC Prep – she crept all over PC when he was all of 18 and she needed TV time.  Is it
   
   just me or is needing to hang out with a high schooler when you’re in your 30s in an effort to social climb just total nonsense?
4. High Society - that little train wreck known as the crappy Tinsley Mortimer reality show
5. Fashionista Diaries - Another Style network stroke of genius that needs to come back.  It's so 2007 but still....so great.

Her screen time was short, but nice to see she’s still in circulation.

Then there’s Leigh, the PR chick with ‘tude who lives in Brooklyn with her baby and her Baby Daddy and his extremely scary dog.  They have a tiny apartment and fight all the time but B. Daddy decides a house in Jersey where the dog can run free and they don’t have to look at each other 24/7 will solve all their problems.  Sure.  Might as well crank out another kid while you’re at it.

So (shocker!) they find a house in New Jersey and (shocker Part II) Leigh loves/hates it.  (You can see why she’s on the best/worst show now, right?)  B. Daddy is all in.  Leigh is skeptical.  It’s a long commute from Jersey to NYC for drinks with the girls.  But c’mon Leigh.  Don’t you see what opportunity might come a’knockin?  You are one backyard wedding away from being eligible for Real Houswives of NJ.  In case you haven’t heard, there might be a vacancy soon since a certain someone-someone might be heading to the big house.  And newsflash.  Jersey Housewives are also on Sunday night.  At 9 p.m.  On Bravo.  Upgrade!

Back in the Hamptons, Possibly Pregger’s bestie gets drunk and tells the rest of the girls that Leila is four weeks late.  Gasp!  What?  None of them can believe.  But then they get over it and get hammered and two of them get nearly naked and jump into the pool together.  Oh, good lord!  It’s not the Real World Hawaii.  You’re in your late 30s for crissakes.  Stop it.

The next night Possibly Preggers shows up at the Hamptons party and promptly knocks back some champagne while the other women awkwardly look on until one of them slurs “you’re pregnant, right?”.  Yeah, not so much.  She puts on a good front of being super bummed about it but in the next confessional she admits she’s totes relieved and maybe if she like got married she’d be more open to being knocked up.  Her live in BF seems more interested in having a kid.  One look at this meathead and he also looks like the kind of guy who might not understand how to use Velcro, but I don’t want judge.

My brain needs a desperate dose of something good.  Time to catch up on Pretty Little Liars…..