Twofer Tuesday - Or A Dozen Reasons to Keep Pumping

So it was the season finale of Vanderpump Rules last night, which means it’s the last time I’m going to get to write about it.  Sigh. Until next week’s reunion of course.  And probably after I catch a rainy Sunday marathon and I feel the need to just chatterbox about the ridiculousness of it all.  And then I can only hope…pray…make wishes at 11:11…that there’s going to be a Season 2.  Bring it on Andy Cohen!

But until then I’ll just have to talk about last night.  

If you didn’t catch it then A) WTF?  Do you have something better to do on Monday nights?  And B) If you do then you could have DVR’d it and watched it this morning like a regular, resourceful, totally normal, not at all obsessive girl.  Stop judging me immediately and if you watched the ep or don’t fear some spoilers, read on…

So the episode started out a bit slow and snoozy and I was starting to get annoyed.  Finale are supposed to be built for drama.  Best for last.  You know the drill.  And then BAM! Here comes cray cray:

L-L gets all G.G.

1. Laura-Leigh quits. Because she booked a movie.  With Jennifer Aniston.  Huh?  What?  How?  Yet, this turns out to be totally legit.  Filmed the movie last fall with Jen A. and Ed Helms and Emma Roberts.  Comes out this summer.  And she graduated from Julliard. Not sure when she detoured to the dark place, but leaping from a waitress at Sur and sparring with Princess (yak) Stassi to a Jen Aniston movie.  O. M. G.
2. And speaking of O. M. G. L-L was in Season 2 of Gossip Girl as the chick who Chuck hired to pretend to date Dan to bring out the worst in Serena so she would dethrone Blair as the Queen Bee.  The mean girls poured a Nair cocktail on her and chunks of her hair came out.  You may not remember it (oh the shame), but it makes me like her a little more.  And then I remember she “dated” Jax.  Though she did a fabulous job tearing him apart after he started to ignore her and blow her off by de-friending her on Facebook.  LOL!  Coward. Party of one.
3. In the next scene Jax follows Stassi around like a puppy. He also follows her puppy around like a puppy.  I don’t like him, but I am embarrassed for him.  You know.  As a man.  (Him.  Man.  Me.  Pitying him not acting like a man.)
4. Then it gets a little snoozy again.  And then there’s a photo shoot for the staff at Lisa’s house.  (Huh?  What?  How? And seri….Why?).  And then Jax puts a sock down his bathing suit for more…ahem…flattering photos.  And swears it’s a “best kept secret of modeling”.  Sure, dude.  Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night.  The best-kept-secret party would have been better kept if you didn’t do it on camera.  But that’s the least of your worries, dude.
5. Then there’s another photo shoot at Sur.  What what?  Admittedly I’ve never worked at a restaurant, but to me…still seems odd.  But I’m going to chalk that up to Hollywood.
6. Everyone is besties with Scheana despite Stassi’s quest to make everyone hate her.  Even Stassi thinks she's pretty damn cool these days.  And even though Scheana was the dramatic bridge between Housewives and Vandy Pumping she was actually the least dramatic…and dare I say the least interesting of them all.  And that counts the two brunettes that I can’t really tell apart.
7. Token girl-on-girl kiss.  Worst staged moment and it looked completely awkward to say the least.  Snoooooooooooooze.
8. But then I wake up….Jax decides to go to a shrink in one of his steps to improve himself and show Stassi how worthy he is.  And we get a fabulous peak behind the curtain of this former model/current bartender, 33-year old dude who has kept us captivated all season. (If you can’t read my sarcasm in this, allow me to assure you….I am rolling my eyes and laughing my ass off while I type.)
9. Brace yourself for this one. Jax’s name isn’t really Jax.  (SHOCKING!)  It’s Jason. Which was cool enough for Priestly.  And Bateman.  And Bourne.  What up JAX?
10. What's up is that he's a compulsive liar.
11. And he did cheat on Stassi a few months ago and knock up the random chick in Vegas.  Did not in fact happen years ago, pre-Stassi.
12. And…you guessed it….HE LIED ABOUT IT.  TO EVERYONE.  Including his friends.  And his shrink.  And Lisa.  And Bravo during his confessional.  And to Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live! a few weeks back.  Though Stassi and Jax were back together again on that episode, so I’m not really sure how that happened…how he got away with lying…how Stassi took him back…since Vandy isn’t filmed in real time.  But no judgment.  (Lie.  Total judgment.)

And there you have it.  

So where do we go from here?  Like you don’t know.  Bravo Vandy Reunion next Monday.  I’m not sure what I’m more excited about…seeing it….or dissecting the hell out of it here.

And fear not….Vandy may be coming to an end (for now) but next week is the comeback of Rachel Zoe.  I'm lusting her necklace from this pic b-t-w.  And can't wait to see what she's wearing.  And who she's dressing.  And the fashion shows.  And celeb stuff.  And her funny, random phrases.  

Still not sure how I feel about Rodger's hair, but one thing at a time.

And RZ is followed by A Brad Brad World which I will admit annoyed me a touch the first season, but considering I made it through the whole Stassi/Jax/Frank/Laura-Leigh thing, then surely I can see what Brad is up to.  Plus he does have some funny one-liners. And I’m a sucker for the celebrity sighting.  Until then…..