Housewives and Dreams (did you get that Cocktail reference???)

So I’ve been pretty good working my way though my Book Architecture project for "The Legacy".  I'm committed to making this book better and giving it the one last shot I think it deserves and then sending it back out into the world, in a version that barely resembles the original, which I think is a very good thing.

So, if you’re writing a book or just have a random interest in how the hell to attack a revision, read on my friend.  If you have zero interest in that and are just here for some pop culture blabbering, just jump down below the pictures…you can start there! 

Okay, so here’s the short version of the Book Architecture Revision Method (so far).  Part One is "99 Scenes in the Right Order" (kind of like 99 Problems.  But not.)  

So first up, you write down all the scenes that you can, from memory.  Just a little something that clicks your memory for that scene.  And when you think you've got everything, print out the whole book out and go through page-by-page to see which scenes

were forgotten.  I actually did pretty well on this part and didn't leave too much out.  (Yeah me!  Pat on the back and a little reward.)  Add the scenes you forgot, and make sure every scene is accounted for.  

Now that the list is complete, run over them with a highlighter to decide what’s good (not perfect, but good enough for now).  What’s bad (needs work, needs to change, doesn’t quite sit right…you get the gist).  The forgotten (there’s probably a reason and that probably is a good sign that those scenes can go).  And if you’re feeling inspired, what’s missing (which you may not know now, or you might. This is the work in process part.)  I've added four scenes and actually changed one of my victims to someone else.  (And yes, if you're new to reading me, my book is a mystery so killing people is totally legit.

And when that part is done, you cut everything up.  Literally.

I oddly found this liberating and exciting. I'm a fan of taking it apart to put it back together again.  

  

So that’s where I am.  Everything is cut apart.  Now it’s time to dig even deeper into each scene.  This is also where it starts to get hard, but as the saying goes, nothing worth having comes easy.

And sometimes the mind just needs a break.  So there’s this:   

***HINT HINT HINT - If you don't give a hoot about writing START HERE***

I’m all caught up on The Real Housewives of Orange-you-Crazy, though oddly enough for some reason I have yet to chime in on it.  How have I been letting this opportunity pass me by each week??? 

Well….truth be told…I’m a smidge apathetic about this season.    It’s a bit on the odd side, feels a bit scripted (I know…how is that possible with REALITY TV??).  Allow me to revise that…it feels more scripted than usual.  And I can’t quite wrap my what-feels-sane-head around it. There’s so much going on yet it’s the same stuff over and over and I feel like it’s not all in context yet, so I’m just going to bullet what’s happened so far.  Maybe after another few eps I can really analyze the hell out of it, in an obsessive, unhealthy way.  So here we go:

• Tamra and Vicky have a wine business together.  When did that happen? And it’s called “Wine with Wives” or something like that, yet neither of them is married anymore.  (Awk-ward) But they also seem to hate each other.  And when they are setting up the office Vicky isn’t there.  And apparently she has a vodka coming out??  How does a person do that?  Can I make Audrey’s Vodka by slapping my name on some Belvedere? Color me confused. 
• Two words - Chin implant.  “It’s not about what Slade said.”  Yet so obviously the exact reason why she got it done.
• Alexis.  Will.  Never.  Learn. 
• Three words – General Hospital cameo.  (LMAO)
• And the other ladies aren’t bullies.  They were trying to be honest but you and your cubic zirconia are just too soft to see it.  (Or hear it.)
• I like Gretchen and Tamra as friends.  They totally crack me up and seem like they can get into all sorts of funny drunk trouble.  Still not liking Slade and his “buying” Gretchen a Rolls, but since we know that in the present tense they get engaged, I’m even less interested in him than I was before.  And bummed to know she won’t be dumping his Real Househusband ass.
• Brooks.  Shudder.  Ick.  Why?  Dump.  Him.  Now.
• Lydia.  I don’t know what to say about her. I found her squeaking noises and crazy eyes a bit off-putting at first.  But when she started to talk about how ridic Alexis is I kind of liked her a little more.  And the fact that she talks about what an insane pothead her mom was (is?) I kind of like her even more.
• But then I’m realizing her entire storyline may boil down to trying to get Alexis to forgive the rest of the gals and all be gal pals again and the whole, “I don’t get angry when my Mom smokes pot”.  Except she does get angry and resents her Mom for wanting to live in the land of the bunnies.  (Apparently it’s much happier there, in case you were wondering.)
• Happy to see the return of Laurie.  I always liked her.  I was hoping she would spread new Slade dirt.  No such luck.  But kind of oddly pleased that her formerly troubled kids are doing well. 
• Heather.  She had me last season.  She won me for life with “anyone who says blondes have more fun hasn’t met me yet.”  Cheers to that, my brunette sister!
• I also thoroughly enjoy Heather on her radio show and on Hot In Cleveland (or at least the part they showed on RHOOC).  “I’m gonna cut you like bad bangs, bitch.” Bravo!

But then I am also full of questions:  

• Will Tamra’s gym ever open? 
• Why do Housewives keep bring psychic-types to cleanse their house?  Tamra.  That little lady in DC who ran the modeling agency.  Taylor in BH.  Is this the new fad?  Will Tamra marry Eddie?  What happened to her flock of children?  Though happy to not have to see Ryan and his inner lip tattoo. 
• Will Gina come back on the scene and stir trouble and have another drink-toss?
• Will Alexis ever get a clue?  Will Jim ever, well, stop being Jim? 

God help me, but I can’t wait to find out!  And if you didn't get the Cocktail reference, look it up.  Horrid movie.  I watched it so many times because of my love for Elizabeth Shue.