I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard people say how
all they want is work/life balance. But
if it’s a balance….on a day-to-day work week basis, then what you’re saying is
equal time at work and life. Which would mean 12 hours of work. 12 hours of life. And, call me crazy (been called worse!) but
I’m looking for waaaaaaay more LIFE. I’m
looking for the imbalance. And for the
scales to tip to life.
I’m barely two months into the new job and I have say I’m
loving it. Now I can’t actually talk
about it much because that’s just how it is, which I feel like that kind of makes
me sound like I have some really cool Secret Agent life, but I don’t. I’m definitely not that cool. But if I was would I really tell you? Don’t think so. So maybe I am. So not.
Alas…the new not-as-cool-as-being-Sidney-Bristow-job is totally crazy and busy and
running around and meeting tons of people and random travelling and working
hard and days going by in a blink and chaos and figuring stuff out and breaking
it down and building it up and digging into all sorts of stuff. It’s wonderful
and exhausting and challenging and as with any new job sucking a lot of time
out of my life. But isn’t it always that
way? But again…not complaining….too
much!
And happy work makes me want to go out more and let the
happiness continue. And I’ve made some
fab work friends that I like to go out with. And old work friends. (Don’t miss
the job, but man how I miss a few of the people!) And some nights I just want to walk home and
decompress and be all about me. (I’m very good at that.) But the scales are tipping back and
forth….too much work….too much play….never enough housework…..God, isn’t *that*
an ugly word that makes me sound like a driveling old lady….staying home in my
muumuu to do some housework. More like studiowork,
but no lie….sometimes keeping not-quite-six-hundred-square-feet clean….also a
challenge. Doesn’t help that my closet
door is still hanging my a thread….all that work….closet door is literally out
of balance.
So how do you keep it all straight? How do you have a career
that demands so much of you and still give all you can to your life? Still feed all the other things that make you
happy….that make you tick….that might even make you crazy….if you’re spending
all that time clucking away at work. Or bringing work home.
When I was you and naïve I used to be so excited
to borrow our office laptop and BRING WORK HOME. It was like I’d finally made
it. Like I was finally important enough
to be one of those people who was crucial to the operations that I had so much
work to do I actually took it with me. Kind of like when I got a beeper. I really thought I was the shit. But every time I went off I had to find a
payphone. LOL. That was fun at a bar at 1 a.m. on a Friday night. I was so awful when I was on call in those
days.
And these days…you guessed it….looking for the balance. I want to write more. I want to be out and
about more. The costume exhibit is almost over again at the Met and there’s no
way I’m waiting until the last weekend to go like I did last year with McQueen. So worth it, but EPIC 90 minutes in line. That wasn’t easy. And I want to see my peeps more. And have downtime. And Bliss time. And moi time.
And catch up on TV (I STILL need to wax on about that). And finish the
book on my nightstand which I have dusted off since last I wrote and have less
than 100 pages to go, but must keep reading to get myself ready for the new
Emily Giffin next Tuesday. CAN’T. WAIT.
So for now….life….work….work….little life….work….work
conference for two days….hopefully little more life. We’ll see how it all shakes out. Total Libra…perpetually looking for that
balance in everything I do. And when I’m
out of balance I do get thrown and don’t always handle it great….I don’t do the
extremes well….though okay, so maybe that’s a bit of a social white lie….I can
do extremes. It’s more when I don’t have
time to decompress or figure out how to balance (there’s that damn word again)
the stress or find an outlet for it that I go kind of bonkers. That I probably become less fun to be around.
Or if I’m stressed and ranting (and probably drinking) I can sometimes be fun
to be around. Maybe? Yes?
No? Perhaps I just think I’m
fun. Anyone? Bueller?
I’m rambling. As usual.
So, for anyone keeping up with my writing life….when I'm having the time of MY life.....
(and yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know....I'm plugging Green Day and BJA and all that, but it's my blog and I love this song!)
So....the writing life.....I am about 76K words
into the summary of The Legacy (out of 95K words…so that’s some serious
progress.) I’ve identifying some
holes. Coming up with some new ideas. Decided
some things that need to be cut. Where
it’s just kind of snoozy. And where I’m
actually pretty proud of what I’ve written.
But I’ve also officially hit the point where I know I need
to rewrite a whole chunk and I’m not sure what the new storyline will be so I’m
road blocked/writers blocked. But when I
can shift the balance back to writing life, I’m going to try to push through
and keep on going. As soon as I finish my
work from work. And rebook the
appointment at Bliss I cancelled because I don’t have to go. And call the contractor about my closet. And vacuum.
And probably about ten other things that I can’t even think of because I’m
fried.
Cheers to imbalance!
In the direction of LIFE!
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