There’s a lot of things I love about living alone. Truth be told I’m a pretty selfish person. I like my space. I like my quiet. (Even though my version of quiet usually includes loud music playing or the TV being on or sometimes both at the same time, which I realize makes all of no sense.)
I like the freedom of living alone. I can leave the dishes in the sink. Let the clutter sit. Toss a week’s worth of outfits on a dining room chair. Not worry that I make too much noise when I stumble home after a late night. Lie on the couch and nap in the middle of a perfectly sunny summer day without hearing anyone squawk in my ear that I’m wasting the day away. I like having full control over what TV shows I watch. (And having no one around to judge when I spend an entire weekend watching The Hills.) I can eat peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon and call it dinner. And I can do what I’m doing now - playing DJ on my computer and belting out every damn song that comes on.
(On a total sidebar, the fact that I have so many song lyrics memorized, but have little memory of what I learned in high school is not entirely lost on me.)
I definitely fancy myself quite the rock star. I was the girl who danced around her bedroom, singing into the hairbrush to Cyndi Lauper and Madonna and Olivia Newton-John (from Grease to Xanadu to Physical). Hell, I still am that girl, minus the hairbrush. I totally have the fantasy of tapping and singing my way across a Broadway stage or singing in front of a crowd, with the voice of Adele and the sass of Gaga. My drunken karaoke moments have proved I am neither, but I don’t care. I am a rock star, hear me roar. (I’m sure my neighbors just love me!)
Now it should go without saying that I obsessively made mix tapes and eventually mix CD’s and now I have playlists. But the tapes were cooler. As if I needed an excuse to buy more colored markers so I could decorate the covers which all had a name and a theme. I don’t have anything to play the tapes on anymore since tossing this gem in my getting-ready-for-the-carpet-installation purge. Hello, 1984.
But I still have the mix tape covers. Each mix hit on the mood I was in at the time, what I was going through, what I was trying to get through, what I was celebrating.
These are some faves:
The magic of iTunes has completely fed my mix-making-obsession. It’s a total fat kid in a candy store sitch. Playlists are my drug. Compulsively scribbling down lyrics runs a close second (I have books filled with them). As anyone who has spent time with me, listening to music and downing cocktails in my apartment can attest, I will make you listen to a song I love and then repeatedly interrupt it with some version of…“You have to listen to the next words. They’re amazing. And then this part. It’s the best. Let me play it again.” I just want people to see what I see in the song (or maybe *hear* what I hear).
And I fully beat songs to death. The “repeat” function is near and dear to my heart. (So much easier than rewinding and wearing the tape out.) Some songs will wear out their welcome, but when I think of ones I will never, ever, ever get sick these pop right to mind – “Wonderwall”, “Times Like These”, the soundtrack from Rent, “Homecoming”, “In Your Eyes” (epic, love, love, LOVE).
And with shuffle I full on discover old favorites – right now I am re-loving Cake’s “Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps”.
Here’s a snippet of what else I’m playing into the ground these days…
“The Adventure” – Angels & Airwaves. “I want to have the same last dream again.” Also makes me nostalgic for Blink. (sigh)
“Remedy” – Black Crows. They remind me so much of high school and every time I hear this song I just want to rock out. One of their best.
“Long As I Can See the Light” – Creedence Clearwater Revival – I am in no ways a CCR kind of gal (Honestly, I don’t even know what else they sang). But for me this song is all about the Season One finale of Las Vegas when Danny McCoy is riding down the strip, suited up in his Marines uniform, to head off to Iraq. I heart you, Josh Duhamel. (Fergie, who?)
“Take Me or Leave Me” – Rent. In my dreams I’m Idina on Broadway belting this out. For now I belt out both parts at home, feeling like I’m a mix of the two, and wishing I had the courage to say these words.
“The Heart of the Matter” – the India Aria cover. The song that makes my heart break even when my heart isn’t breaking.
“After All This Time” & “Spinning to Crazy” – Carla Ryder. If you don’t know who she is, find out immediately. Amazing singer/songwriter.
“Not Ready To Make Nice” – Dixie Chicks. A reminder of where I was and where I am now. Forgiveness. “It turned my whole world around and I kind of like it.”
“21 Guns” – Green Day. I am in awe of this song. So many beautiful lyrics to choose from – “When you heart breaks the spirit of your soul.”
“If I Can’t Change Your Mind” – Sugar. This song takes me back to sitting on the floor of my friend’s apartment at UNH, drinking Harpoon and commiserating over boys who, in hindsight, really were not worth our time. Like really really not worth our time. Years later we found it at a used CD store in Portsmouth. But more than anything this song reminds me of my old friend that I don’t talk to nearly enough.
“Sorry” – Ashlee Simpson. She can lip sync this song anytime.
“Chocolate” – Snow Patrol. “This could be the very moment I’m aware I’m alive.” Best when played as loud as possible.
“It’s Only Life” – Kate Voegele. Thank you One Tree Hill. I love me some teen drama and this was the first show in a long time that really knew how to use music. Plus I made a lot of new discoveries - Snow Patrol, Jack’s Mannequin, Nada Surf. The storyline has become flat out painful (Stalkers and shootings and too many people *almost* dying and then actually dying. Please bring back Lucas!). But I’ll still tune in for potential tunes.
“Candyman” – Christina Aguleria. No denying the girl can sing. Love this one because it sounds like the Andrew Sisters from the forties yet has the wickedly wonderful, “He’s a one stop shop….” line.
“Waste My Time” – from Instant Star. It used to be on The N. I’m sure the cheese stands alone with this shameful pick, but I’m an even bigger sucker for teen drama when it’s Canadian. This little ditty was their very own ode to “Walk This Way” with the teen superstar vs. the bad-boy rapper. They should have hated each other, but of course their sing-off became the biggest hit EVER. And then they ovbi fall for each other. Shameful? Yes. But love.
“Nolita Fairytale” – Vanessa Carlton. This song is absolutely screaming to me right now – “I used to hover above my truth.”
“Hands Down” – Dashboard Confessional featuring Michael Stipe. Circa 2004 MTV2 did two episodes of Album Covers. Dashboard covered REM’s “Out Of Time” and Guster covered Violent Femmes self-titled first CD. It was another great idea that didn’t last. Michael Stipe joined DC on stage for “Hands Down” and it’s nothing short of amazing.
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