Oh Sweet Heaven! It's Sweet Valley High!

To my total and absolute deee-lite (groove is definitely in this heart) I saw that Francine Pascal is revisiting my beloved Sweet Valley High and releasing a new book, Sweet Valley Confidential on March 29th.

Now I don’t know about anyone else, but I DEVOURED the SVH series, longing for blonde hair, a red Fiat and a twin sister.  I wanted a partner-in-crime who was also my best friend.  Because even when Elizabeth and Jessica drove each other nuts (which was usually Jessica scheming or being selfish and shallow about something), they always made up in the end.  And twins? How cool was that?  You could share clothes and trick people into thinking you were the other twin.  And blame your twin for things you actually did.  How convenient!  (I’m pretty sure that TV show Double Trouble was out about this time which only fueled my twin fire.) 

I realize theses books were totally preposterous and stories got rehashed and they perpetuate all sorts of bad stereotypes (blah, blah, blah), but I was a twelve year old living in the suburbs, with a crush on Andy Taylor from Duran Duran.  SVH was an exciting discovery for me.  I wanted to exist in that world so I could write for the paper like Elizabeth (and her devoted boyfriend Todd wasn’t so shabby either).  And I wanted to be popular and carefree like Jessica.  I wanted to have my cake and eat it too! 

I was pretty much the good girl (though I liked to think my rubber bracelets, Pat Benatar haircut, double pierced ears and Madonna albums gave me a little edge).  Though at that age I really had no concept of what being the “bad girl” even meant, even if I liked to think I did.  But the world of Elizabeth and Jessica (and Enid and Bruce and Lila and the gang) was total escapism.  And in some ways it made me feel very grown up to be reading about their lives.  I gobbled up every book, swapping them with friends, and reading them like mad. 

And maybe I can even trace my travel-to-France dream back further than Brenda Walsh, since the Wakefield twins made a trip in Spring Break, one of those fabulous super-sized books.  (Pure genius, btw, to spin off your own series into vacation and crime adventures.) Though I distinctly remember not understanding why they kept saying “ow-ee” all the time. Alas, I took Spanish in middle school (Pleasantville Middle School to be exact, as in PMS.  Oh how that joke never got old.)  Anyway, I’m kicking myself now for not choosing French.  It was rumored to be a harder language.  (Way to challenge yourself, younger version of myself!)  Too bad it was also the one that would serve me better in everything from reading SVH to ordering off a menu to international travel!

There’s a chance I had to ask my mom what the heck “ow-ee” was.  (In case you haven’t figured it out by now, “ow-ee” = “oui”.  Yes, I’m thoroughly embarrassed.)  But luckily she never, ever made me feel stupid for my mispronunciations.  There was an incident where when I saw the abbreviation “lbs” I asked what “libs” meant.  That got me some good laughs.  (My mom’s also had the album “Elvis In Concert” which I called “Elvis In Concrete”).  But until this day whenever one of us talks about weight we’ll say something to the effect of “I definitely put on some libs over Christmas”.   

As a former English teacher and eventual editor (amongst other things) my mom certainly shared a love for books, so any requests to hit up the library or the book store were always welcomed.  Somehow buying lots of books was always justified and we’d often make trips to The Second Story, one of my favorite local bookstores.  I also remember trolling bookstore aisles while on vacation on the Cape since I would plow through books on the beach and need to replenish.

The genius of SVH was the mix of cliffhangers (kidnapping, motorcycle crashes that lead to comas, lots of random deaths) and just good drama (mistaken identities, a crap load of dances, cheerleading and boys).  And all of this with barely a drink or any drugs or any sex.  Sigh.  It was so much easier growing up in the 80s. 

But my SVH love definitely explains my addiction to soap operas in my teen years (if you aren’t familiar with the Lily Walsh/Holden Snyder/Dusty Donovan love triangle you are *seriously* missing out).  My love for SVH probably also explains my lifelong obsession with teen dramas – Dawson’s, One Tree Hill, Degrassi, Laguna Beach, Buffy, Veronica Mars, Gossip Girl and oh-thank-God-for Pretty Little Liars, to name a few.  There’s just something about those shows…  

And I don’t remember exactly when I decided I wanted to write – I read those bios of people when they’re like “I’ve been a writer since I was three”.  Really?  Three?  Could you even do more than scribble outside the lines at that point?  But I always told stories – “imagined” things happened in my real life (i.e. I never lied…I imagined). I remember getting my first diary around 4th Grade and still keep one, though now it’s a mix of writing, pictures, quotes and song lyrics, doodles, and lists upon lists of to do’s and never-do-again’s. 

But I can say that I’ve always been a reader.  I vividly remember Milton El Madrugador from the kindergarten era.  It's the Spanish version of Milton the Early Riser, an illustrated book about well, an early rising panda bear.  I loved bears. My mom did her best accent for me.  (And dammit if Spanish isn't rearing it's ugly head.  Maybe that's why I poo-pooed French at PMS?!) 

But it was really around the time I found Judy Blume that reading became such an insatiable habit.  And it was around this time I discovered SVH and Lois Duncan (probably one of the first authors to make me love mysteries and thrillers).  I just wanted to get lost in books.  And I suppose there’s a part of me that would like to get lost in the much easier time of when I was reading SVH.  So not only am I unapologetically excited to read the Sweet Valley Confidential but I’m also hoping to go to the book launch at Barnes & Noble.  A little stalkerish? 

What can I say?  I’m dying to know how the Wakefields are doing – the book is supposed to be 10 years into the future even though they were in high school in 1984 when the series started.  But the passing of time in the books never made sense, which didn’t matter because the books were so damn good!  One of my friends from high school was actually a ghost writer for these books circa 1995.  Can you say dream job?

Feeling all nostalgic, I did some Googling and found a bunch of websites dedicated to the SVH.  The book covers totally crack me up and I remember a lot of the earlier books vividly.  I’m actually kind of bummed all my old books got donated when my parents moved out of our house over a decade ago.  I digress.  And for those who like their humor a little darker (or, gasp, didn’t think SVH was ahh-may-zing the first time around) this blog is brilliant:

http://thedairiburger.com/ 

I haven’t laughed this much since the IBBB recaps of The Hills. Ole!